In The Midst Of The Storm

"The last thing someone wants to hear are the words “I have to tell you something…” and you know what is about to be said will bring you to tears and break your heart.  The last thing someone wants to hear are the words sick, terminal, and cancer.

I thank God that He is so faithful.  I thank God that He is good, in all things.  And I thank God that no matter the storm that seems to be coming our way, that He will never leave nor forsake us.  He is for us, not against us.  And nothing that comes against us will prosper."  From my journal, March 2, 2014

365 days ago, on March 2, 2014 my mom and I made a trip to see my Grandma who had unexpectedly been admitted to the hospital a few days prior.  Obviously we knew something was going on with my Grandma's health, but as far as we were concerned, they were going to be doing a few tests, they knew nothing yet, and we were just going to visit and encourage her and my Grandpa.

Sitting in the conservatory that day, just my mom and I with my Grandparents, my Grandma said "I have to tell you something..." and immediately tears filled my eyes because I knew something was about to be said that would change my life...change my family.

As she spoke the words referring to cancer testing, uncertainty about the stage or severity of the prognosis, not knowing if she would be strong enough or well enough to be at my sister's wedding later that year...it was all so terrifying to think about.

My mom and I drove the 2 hours home stunned and trying to absorb what we heard, knowing that when we got home we would have to tell the rest of the family.

That was 365 days ago.  So much has happened since then, but one thing has remained constant.

The second paragraph in my journal entry from last year focused on who God is.  When storms come, and they will, it is so easy to be taken off course.  It is so easy to let fear overtake you.  It is so easy to forget about the good promises of God when everything around you looks like it is crumbling.  But, God NEVER fails.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  He is faithful.

See, one year ago sitting in that hospital room, we didn't know what life would look like for my Grandma.  By the grace of God she is doing incredible!  She made it through chemo, a stem cell transplant, and is now in maintenance mode.  She has regained a lot of strength, and is doing remarkable.  I know that isn't the story for many who go through cancer, but that's her story.

Being one year removed from that day in the hospital brings tears to my eyes.  I know that if things had turned out differently, that God still would be good.  He still would be faithful.  He still would be for us and not against us.  He still would've used all things for His glory.  I don't sit here today saying He is good because of the outcome of the journey my Grandma has been on.  I sit here today saying God is good because that is who He IS.  This past year has had some terrifying experiences.  It was a roller coaster of ups and downs.  But, despite it all, God has been there in everything.

I want to encourage you today that whatever you are facing that may seem like an insurmountable mountain, just look to Jesus.  It might be hard.  It was for me at times to think about how God could bring something good from the pain my family was in, but trust me, it is worth it.  If you keep your eyes upon Jesus, things of this world that are overwhelming will become bearable because you will know that Jesus cares about us all more than we could ever comprehend.  And, look to the people around you, the Christian friends and family that you have.  God gave me a support system of friends, 4 in particular, who I would text, talk to, and even tear up on occasion with, and they stood by my side, upholding me in prayer when I couldn't stand anymore.  The journey wasn't easy, but by the grace of God He brought me through as I leaned on Him and learned to trust and thank Him for my 4 friends who showed me the goodness of Christ in the midst of the storm.

"I thank God that He is so faithful.  I thank God that He is good, in all things."

In all things, He is good. Amen.