A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime

I have no clue who wrote this...I received it as a forward a couple years ago and it has always stuck with me.  I think sometimes it's good to be reminded that everyone goes through similar situations in relationships...because not everyone will be in our lives forever. 


"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

 When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. 

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
Our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season. 

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime."

True Love

"When Someone dries your tears
 When Someone wins your heart
 And says you're beautiful
 When you don't know you are

 When all you long to see is written on His face
 Love has come and finally set you free
 On that wedding day
 On that wedding day"

~Casting Crowns

All About Me In 30 Days - Day 1

A Photo Of Yourself And A Description Of How Your Day Was

Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope you are all having a wonderful start to your weekend...I sure am!

My day today was amazing!  It started off by sleeping in!  After a long week, sleeping in was amazing!  My grandparents are visiting for the weekend, so for brunch we had incredible food that was mostly made my my grandma and grandpa.  Since my grandparents were bringing some of our favourite 'traditional' foods my mom's cousin and her family came over for brunch.  We had a good visit with them! 

Then after they left I took my grandparents out for a ride in my 'new' car!  They hadn't seen it yet so it was nice to show it off! 

After that we had a relaxing afternoon, waiting for the turkey to cook, and for my friend to come over.  Traditionally our family has always spend Thanksgiving just as a family, but this year I really felt it on my heart to invite a friend over as her family has moved away.  It was great to have Sarah over!  We had a dinner/evening full of laughter...much to the expense of my brother!  It felt great to have my entire family together, with my grandparents and Sarah! 

God has blessed me abundantly!  Though times have been extremely tough lately, I can't help but have an overwhelming sense of being blessed. 

I am living closer to my extended family than I have since I was little.  (And now a whole 15 minutes closer to my little cousins and Aunt and Uncle!!)  God has brought me an amazing friend who is honestly more like a sister to me.  God is also been bringing me a couple more friend!  I just feel blessed, and extremely thankful!

And finally, I am so grateful for Jesus' amazing love for me and my family!  He will never let us go...no matter if times are good or bad.  He's holding us in the palm of His hand!  I am so thankful for His great love for us all!

Missing:  Mom...who was taking all the pictures!

Like A Child

"And [Jesus] said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."  Matthew 18:3

I've been thinking about this verse ever since Friday night. 

In case you missed my last post, on Friday night my little four year old cousin asked Jesus into her live.  I saw my grandparents on Saturday and my grandpa told me of the conversation he had with Nevaeh the night before.  It completely melted my heart! 

...but it made me think.  When I told some of my siblings (cause I was SOOOOOOO excited!!!) one of them said "but she's so young."  That's just it.  She's young....with pure faith.  Like Jesus said, we can only come to truly believe in Him if we come with the faith of a child...pure and untainted by the things of the world.  That is why I believe Nevaeh understands the love of Jesus more than someone who is much older than her.  As we get older we try to examine and take apart everything, where as small children take everything how it is.  They don't try to pull it apart based on circumstances.  They just believe.  And God honors that. 

I don't think I'm explaining all this very well.  I just found a video that may help to 'explain' through seeing a 5 year old girl sing her heart out to Jesus!  Enjoy!

Click This Link To Watch The Video  ...sorry...I'm not sure how embed this video! 

All The Angels Are Rejocing...

"...In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”  Luke 15:10

And tonight all the angels are rejoicing that my dear little cousin asked Jesus into her heart tonight!  I could not be happier than I am right now!  :)

I am so proud of you Nevaeh for taking this huge step in your life!  I can't wait to see your own personal relationship with Jesus grow and thrive!  I love you! 

Are You Ready?

All week I have been struggling with what to write.  I know I need to say something, but the words are not there.

Earlier this week my pastor's grandson tragically and very suddenly passed away.  As a whole I think it's safe to say it shook my entire church to the core.  I know it shook me a lot.  I didn't know his grandson but it made me think even greater about how death can hit at any given moment. 

On Tuesday when I heard the news my dad said something that hit me hard.  He said he thought about how what if that was my family.  What would we do?  Do we all know where we are all headed?  I know I personally know with certainty that when I die I will spend eternity in heaven with Jesus.  That is because I have given my whole life over to Jesus.  But I can't speak for everyone...even in my own family. 

It breaks me more than anything when I think about people in my life who are currently choosing to ignore the reality of Jesus.   It just breaks me...  I do not want anyone I know or love...especially my family to spend eternity in hell.

This week just made it really real that any one of us could possibly die at any given moment.  There is such an urgency in how we live our lives today.  We CAN NOT ignore Jesus' call to us any longer.  We can't.  Because me, or you, may not have tomorrow.  We may not have another breath after the one you are breathing right now.  Please, I seriously beg you.  If you do not know Jesus already.  If you do not know with certainty that if you died today you would spend eternity in heaven.  PLEASE do not over look this.  Please learn more about Jesus and how much He loves YOU!  He died for YOU!  He is waiting in heaven for YOU!  And He wants more than anything to have a relationship with YOU! 

Eternity is coming faster than you know it.  We all need to be ready...

Thankful...For Technology

Sometimes I despise technology because...well because of a lot of reasons!  But today I am thankful for it.  For the very first time (sadly!) I sat down and skyped with one of my very close friends in Kamloops!  She just had a baby in June and I've been feeling very sad about living so far away and missing this new season of their lives!  It was so great to see her and hear her voice...it felt almost as if I was sitting in her living room having tea with her! 

I am so thankful that even though I live 18 or so hours away from Adam and Rachelle that technology has paved a way for us to feel like the distance between us isn't that great at all! 

Thanks for the amazing chat Rachelle!  I am so grateful for your friendship!    :) 

Silver and Gold Have I None But Such As I Have...

"Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” ~Acts 3:6

I may not have silver.  I may not have gold.  I may not be the richest woman in the world.  Yet I am rich.  I have something greater...and what I have can save YOUR life! 

"There's something better I can give.  If you surrender you will live.  Just gotta taste and see it's good.  I'd make you see it if I could.  It's gonna save your life." 

Ok...so youtube is being frustrating...so click this link to go to the song...

In Everything Give Praise

Last night I started reading Job.  I could barely get through reading through chapter 1!  I've read the book so many times before but this time it became very real.

Imagine for a moment.  There is a man named Job who was a God fearing man.  He lived a good life...a life that pleased God.  He had a big family.  He was wealthy. And the Bible even says he was the most influential man in the Middle East!  Job had it all, and I am sure life was amazing for him! 

Then one day Satan comes before God.  (What a conversation that would have been!  Satan, who was cast from heaven and who will spend eternity in hell before the Almighty God who created Heaven and earth...Wow!)  So imagine this conversation and God begins to tell Satan all about how amazing Job is!  Satan comes back at God's remarks and says that if Job had reason to he would curse God.  So God basically gives Satan access to every thing in Job's life...except his very life. 

Already this story is pretty crazy!  But a day came when absolutely everything in Job's life changed...

A messenger came to say all Job's livestock was taken away and all his servants massacred.  Before the messenger was finished speaking another messenger came to say all Job's flocks and servants were burned to death.  Again while the messenger is still speaking a third messenger arrived saying Job's camels and servants (he must have had so many servants!) were massacred.  Finally a fourth messenger arrived to say the home all his children were in collapsed and all his children had been killed. 

WOW!  Imagine what a bad day Job would have been having!  To hear all that one after another is crazy!  I don't know how I would react to that but here is Job's reaction:  (vs 20-22)  "Job stood up, tore his robe in grief, and shaved his head.  Then he fell to the ground and worshipped.  He said, "Naked I came from my mother, and naked I will return.  The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away!  May the name of the Lord be praised."  Through all this Job did not sin or blame God for doing anything wrong." 

I can't even imagine a response like that!  Everything Job had was taken away, even his own children, yet he praised God! 

Maybe this passage really spoke me this time around because life hasn't been all wonderful lately.  I've briefly mentioned in previous posts that May was a rough month for me.  It felt like everything wrong that could happen all happened one week after the next.  It's taken all summer for me to feel like I can manage the pain from May.  There's still so much to work through.  Tears are still shed.  But in the midst of the pain and confusion I need to remember Job.  I need to remember to give praise to God even in this season of deep pain.  I need to keep believing that God is the very same today as He was in Job's life.

And as long as we have breath there is time for redemption.  Time for the people in my life who are so far from God right now to turn around and come home.

All About Me In 30 Days - Round 2

As promised, here are the topics for my "All About Me in 30 Days" series  (but not necessarily 30 consecutive days...).  I am officially now getting back into blogging after my unintentional break...  It is good to be back! 

So without further ado, here is a general outline of what the next 30 posts will hold. 

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.

Day 3 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

Day 4 – A photo of yourself two years ago.

Day 5 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.

Day 6 – Your dream wedding.

Day 7 – A song to match your mood.

Day 8 – A photo of the item you last purchased.

Day 9 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.

Day 10 – What’s in your makeup bag?

Day 11 – A photograph of the town you live in.

Day 12 – Your favorite musician and why?

Day 13 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.

Day 14 – Something you don’t leave the house without.

Day 15 – A photo of you and your family.

Day 16 – Something you crave a lot.

Day 17 – Another picture of yourself.

Day 18 – The meaning behind your blog name.

Day 19 – A photo of something that makes you happy.

Day 20 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Day 21 – 15 facts about you.

Day 22 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.

Day 23 – What’s in your purse?

Day 24 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.

Day 25 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?

Day 26 – Your favorite movie.

Day 27 – Something you could never get tired of doing.

Day 28 - Somewhere you'd love to travel.

Day 29 - A talent/hobby of yours.

Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days.

I Am Back...

It's hard to believe I haven't written a post for almost a month!  I've been feeling very uninspired lately, but I don't want to continue neglecting my blog. 

Life has been a series of valley's ever since May, and so since I've been trying to deal with a lot of personal things that are very heavy on my heart, blogging has taken a back seat...  Sorry about that to any readers I still have! 

I am in the process of making a list which I am compiling from a few "All About Me In 30 Days" blog meme's I have found.  I worked my way through one last fall and enjoyed it!  I know I won't have time to post one every day, so I am hoping to make it into a weekly series.  So keep your eye open...I promise I will be starting in the next day or so.

Exactly...

It's been exactly one year.  365 days.  Wow. 

No more needs to be said...

A Treasure

"But every memory of friendship shared, even for a short time, is a treasure, like sunshine and warmth in our lives, like a cool breeze on a humid day, like a shower of rain refreshing the earth."
     ~Author Unknown

Found at http://www.desktop-quotes.com/friendship-and-memories-quotes.html

Where Past and Present Collide

One year ago this week I said goodbye...

Goodbye to everything I had known for 9 years.  I said goodbye to my friends.  I said goodbye to my church.  I said goodbye to my coworkers.  I said goodbye to my city.  I said goodbye to my province.  Goodbye.

It's hard to imagine that a year has already gone by.  In a sense it feels like it was just yesterday...the memories and emotions are all so raw still, yet it also feels like a lifetime ago because so much has changed in me.

I miss Kamloops so much.  A part of me always will.

As tough as the past year and a half has been (including moving preparations, etc) I know God has used it to change me and shape me.  He has used it to mold me.  There are still what if's running around in my head about what would have happened if I stayed, but as I know from previous moves those will be there no matter what.  Yet despite all the questions I still have I know I'm right in the middle of God's will for my life.  I may still want to go back, but God has me here for a reason.  A reason still to be seen.

Thinking about 'moving week' last year brought the song "Whatever You're Doing" by Sanctus Real back into my mind.  It was my theme song last year. 

"Whatever You're doing inside of me it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace.  Though it's hard to surrender to what I can't see, I'm giving into something heavenly...Whatever You're doing inside of me it feels like chaos but I believe You're up to something bigger than me, larger than life, something heavenly." 

Moving was chaotic.  It was hard.  Yet in the midst of it I know God has a plan.  It doesn't mean I have to forget BC and all the memories I had there.  It doesn't mean I should forget the friends I have there and keep my distance from them.  No way!  It means that chapter of my life has ended and a new one has begun.  It means that I treasure the moments God gave me in Kamloops because they were used to shape me into who I was last year.  And the new memories and new friends I'm making here are shaping me now.  It's a place where the past and present collide...to fulfull God's plan for my life!

This has been something that has been on my heart for a few months now, ever since someone I know told me they weren't exactly going to stay in touch with me just because they had moved away...  Ever since the day I got that message in May I've been reminding myself over and over again that I will never, ever treat anyone that way.  I am blessed to have known all the people I have known, and while I may not continue to be close friends with everyone I've ever known, they will always hold a very special place in my heart...for God brought them into my life for a purpose, and I am so very grateful for those purposes!

The Past Few Weeks

The past few weeks have been full of:

Spending time with my cousin Taylor who was staying with us for 2.5 weeks.

Figuring out how to solve a Rubix cube...Taylor wasn't to impressed I finished it first...

Having my aunt, uncle and cousins over for an afternoon/evening.





Babysitting my baby cousin Trae! 



Spending more time with my cousin Taylor.



Enjoying some time with good friends.



Walking around the lake with our friends.



It's been a great few weeks! 

Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish time didn't go on.

Sometimes I wish I was still young.  Living in the good days where life was simple.  Where faith was 'as a child' if that makes sense.  Where people truly cared and life wasn't complicated. 

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to when I lived in Calgary...when my friends and I were all serving God.  When He was what we would always talk about.  When nothing could come in the way of our love for Him. 

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to a time where smiles always filled our faces.  Where fear was far from our hearts.  Where my sisters and I would enjoy our time together and sing our little hearts out for Jesus.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time when real true friendships were the norm.  Where people actually cared about one another.  Where if you reached out to someone they would extend their loving arms back. 

Sometimes... Okay, really I wish this all the time.  I wish life was still as simple as it was when I was little...

But it's not.  So many people I love have turned from their first Love, Jesus.  So many people I know could care less about everything and everyone.  It hurts.  Badly.  Because all I want is to see them with arms raised high serving their King. 

I'm not going to give up.  I will continue pressing on.  Keep praying.  Keep believing.  Keep hoping.  Because a day is coming where they will bow their knee and worship Jesus.  A day is coming...

You're Beautiful...

"I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful."

"I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It's all proclaiming who You are
You're beautiful, You're beautiful."

"I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful, you're beautiful."

"When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful."

"I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful."

*Lyrics from You're Beautiful by Phil Wickham

A VERY Random Post

I survived week two!!  I've been enjoying my job, but I have found I am completely drained!  I guess that is to be expected since I was without a job for two months!  I'm hoping and praying that I will adjust quickly so I can get back to having energy and strength to do other things than just working and sleeping...oh, and don't forget all the reading I've been doing lately to relax after a long day!

I haven't forgotten my family and friend weekly posts...I just haven't had any energy to sit down and write...or think.  Hopefully I'll write a few more tomorrow.  Maybe I'll have to cheat and pre-write posts and schedule them for their respective days...

I've been thinking lately that I must be a tea addict.  My new favourite tea store has $5 shipping for the month of July and I am really, really wanting to buy a few new types of tea...Not that I really need anymore!  :p

Some of my family is headed 'home' to BC next week.  I am feeling extremely jealous of them.  And yes, I did say 'home' because ever since May I've been feeling very homesick and all I want is to go back...for good.  I can't wait until I know in my heart that it would be okay for me to go back...I miss it so badly...still!!  I was hoping to go back to visit at the end of the month, but some of my friends I was really wanting to see won't be there so I guess I'll wait until another time when they will be there.  It just really means more waiting...more wanting to go back...but I will...maybe next month?!  I hope so!  I may be very far away from BC in distance, but BC is always in my thoughts...and the people I love there are always in my prayers.

This post has become a big rambling update.  :( 

Well, to end this post I'll leave you with a very random video.  This song "True Love" by Phil Wickham has been in my head since yesterday when I read a line from it on a facebook status.  It's a great song, so I wanted to share it with you all!

I...

...definitely did NOT just see a BC vehicle while driving home from work, and I definitely just did NOT scream out loud when I saw it was from Kamloops, BC...

Okay...I did. 

It makes me hope and pray a little harder that it'll work out for me to go out for a visit at the end of the month.  Man, do I miss that place!

A Grandma's Love

I am finally getting around to posting my "Family Friday" post from two Friday's ago...
My Grandma J just had her birthday. It was a milestone birthday!! 
Through the years I have lived anywhere from a couple hours to 18 hours away from my grandparents, yet every year we always made sure we went to visit them, and they always came to visit us. Now that I live closer to them than I did before, we have been able to see a lot more of each other! It's been great to see my grandma more often now!

My grandma and I have spent many hours either playing games, visiting, baking, or being out in her garden (something we both love!). 
I remember one time a couple years ago in Kamloops when my grandparents came to visit. We hadn't planted any flowers yet and since my grandparents love gardening, they came with my dad and I to buy some flowers for all our flowerbeds...(Our house in Kamloops had many flower beds! I miss that a lot...) When we were at the store my grandma decided to buy me a beautiful mini rose bush. Every time I looked at my roses it would make me think of my grandma. I treasured that rose bush, but unfortunately due to the severe SK winter we had it died. Though it was just a rose bush, it always reminded me that my grandma loves me.

I am so grateful for my Grandma J. I am thankful for her life and for the legacy she is building for me to carry on. I'm thankful for her love for Jesus. I'm thankful she is my grandma! I love you Grandma!!

Trying to Get Caught Up...

I feel like my blog has become neglected over the past few weeks... :(

Hopefully when I start to get used to my new routine of juggling work, school, church, church activities, family, and friends I'll finally have time to sit down and get caught up on my blogging!

Until then...I survived my first week of full time work! It went well! It feels good to know that my bank account balance is now going up instead of constantly down!

I'll try to get on here sometime this afternoon or evening and write another family or friend post...I NEED to get caught up on those! :)

You may remember when I wrote about Dan Bremnes and his band in May...

Well, Dan Bremnes was on 100 Huntley Street this morning and I wanted to share the video link with you.

100huntley.com - "Your Strength" Daniel Bremnes 1/2

100huntley.com - "Your Strength" Daniel Bremnes 2/2

19 and Holding...

When people turn 30 they usually refer to themselves as "29 and holding..."

Well, apparently I'm 19 and holding?!

Twice this week I've been either directly asked if I'm "older than 19" or subtly told I must be the same age as someone's 19 year old child...

Umm...no!

I was 19 a few years ago, and no I do not want to be 19 anymore! :p

I don't look that young, do I? I guess if I'm continuously asked what grade I'm in then maybe I do look young... It's a neverending cycle!

Come on...someone please think I'm older than I am. For once in my life...

Real Love

When I heard Sidewalk Prophet's "How You Love Me" for the first time a few months ago I fell in love with the lyrics of the chorus. 

The entire song talks about how Jesus loves us despite what we may have done.  He loves us despite what we may do.  He went to the cross out of love for me.  For you.  It's all because of His love...that is real love!

Okay...I don't know if it's just me or not, but I still can't get the embed feature of youtube to work, so you'll have to click here.




Okay...I finally got it working! Apparently it's happening to other Blogspot bloggers as well. Sorry it's a little too big...I had to embed it differently than I used to. :(

Memories...To Last A Lifetime

Amanda.

I met Amanda when I moved to Calgary when I was seven.  I'm pretty sure we met at church and somehow we became good friends.  She was one of the main friends that I hung out with while I lived there. 

I remember going into grade four at a public school and I was so excited that Amanda was going to be in my class because it meant that I already had a friend at school!  After grade four we both were homeschooled until I moved away just after grade six. 

A couple days ago I was looking through some old picture albums (thanks to their easy accessibility now that they are upstairs due to the flood...) and saw so many pictures of Amanda and I.  Seeing all those pictures brought back so many memories. 

So many times over the past year or so I have found myself wishing that life could go back to the simplicity of being a child.  Years have passed since I lived in Calgary.  At first my friends and I kept in close touch...writing letters back and forth on a regular basis.  Slowly the letters stopped, and as they stopped we all slowly lost touch.  If I have one regret in life it's that I allowed the distance to creep in and get further and further.  I haven't seen Amanda in years.  I think the last time I saw her was in 2008.  I don't even know where she's at right now.  :(  But despite the distance that has come in the way I have many memories of our friendship that I hold dear to my heart.  Amanda will always be a friend in my heart...no matter how many years go by before I see her again. 

Thanks for all the memories Amanda, and thanks for your friendship! 

Catching Up

Happy Canada Day!!

I spent the day not really doing much of anything, which in a way was nice.  I picked up a few flowers between last night, so I spent some time making a few planters!  I've heard marigolds keep mosquitoes away, so I put them in a few planters to place by the doorways.  Hopefully we can reduce the amount of mosquitoes entering our house, because right now it is crazy!! 

Other than doing some planting I didn't really accomplish anything else.  I just spent the day by myself doing some cleaning, lawn mowing, and more cleaning.  Oh, and my sisters and I just finished watching "A Cinderella Story."  Canada Day is usually a pretty laid back one for me...which is a good thing this year because I start my new job on Monday and from then on I'll be really busy trying to juggle work, school, family, and church!

Oh...in case any of you are wondering what has happened to my friends and family posts for this week...well, I haven't forgotten about them.  All week I've been feeling a little bit guilty for not writing them.  :p  I suppose I'll have to do both of them at once so I can be caught up before next week!

Now that you've been caught up with what I've kept busy with this Canada Day, why don't you share what you've been up to!  If anyone's from Ottawa, did you take part in the celebrations by Parliament Hill?  I heard 300,000 people were there!!

For The WIN!

On Sunday I got back from a weekend of 18*32 camp!

It was my first time that I have gone to any camp other than family camp when I was really young. I was nervous at first because I wasn't quite sure what to expect since it was a new experience and a new location, but I ended up having a great time! I was able to met and get to know quite a few new friends! I was also able to share memories of Kamloops as I had the opportunity to talk with the worship leader Dan Bremnes during "Mug Up" the first night!

The theme of the weekend was "Winning." The speaker, Alison Springer, spoke on different aspects of winning, and I was challenged and encouraged to continue believing for a WIN in a particular situation that has been extremely difficult and upsetting.

Alison said a few things during the second session that was very impactful! That particular session she was sharing about praying a prayer of faith versus a prayer of hope in the situations we find ourselves in that become our causes. Anyway when talking about her cause she said "Devil, you've chosen the wrong girl!" and "Satan, you're going down...AGAIN!!!!" These two phrases really stuck out to me. I find it so easy to get discouraged when things are going badly...when people who know the truth are turning away from it. It is easy to become upset. It is easy to allow the negative thoughts to come in. Since that session on Saturday morning I have been saying to myself everytime I think of my particular cause "Satan, you've chosen the wrong girl. You've chosen the wrong family. YOU ARE GOING DOWN...AGAIN!!!! God is on our side and we are going to WIN this one!!!! Amen!!" Over and over again this is going through my mind as I declare that in the name of Jesus the battle will be won! We will overcome! This situation won't last forever. The unbelief won't last because God is greater! He desires everyone to love and serve Him, therefore He will battle with us!

Ephesians 6:12-13 says "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."  

God will give the ability for us to stand firm. He will give us strength to battle against the powers of this dark world. He will give us grace to walk through this valley to the other side. And we will get to the other side! We will!

This is for the WIN! Romans 4:20-21

Family Friday

Well Friday has arrived.  Today I leave for 18*32 camp.  Today I am writing my first "Family Friday" post.  I still need a better name for that...

I didn't know where to start with for my family, so I thought I'd start with the youngest in my extended family...my cousin Trae.

It's hard to believe that he is already 7 months!  Time has flown by! 

Trae is my youngest cousin.  He is the only one who I was able to meet while still in the hospital!  I've seen him grow and change...something I wish I could've seen firsthand with all my cousins. 

If I hadn't of moved to SK, I most likely wouldn't have even seen Trae yet.

Trae brings so much joy to our family!  I love little ones, and when they're family it's even better! 

I am so thankful to be your cousin, Trae!  I can't wait to continue watching you grow up and become the man God has created you to be!  I love you!!

No Matter What...

I'm supposed to be getting ready to go to 18*32 Camp this afternoon, but I want to share a song with you all that's been really speaking to me this week.

The song is "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts.

There's been so much going on right now that I don't understand.  I can't comprehend why some things are or aren't happening in my life.  For example, I was hoping and praying my good friends from Kamloops would be at camp this weekend with Dan Bremnes, but they aren't.  It's just Dan Bremnes coming and playing with some people from my church.  :(  I won't get to see my friends which saddens me. 

I also don't understand why I feel "silent."  For example, I've been trying to contact/stay in contact with different friends of mine but time after time again they've been either purposefully or not purposefully ignoring my attempts.  It hurts.  It doesn't make sense. 

This song has been a source of encouragement to me in these areas in particularly while reminding me that no matter what happens God is in control and I can trust Him...even when things don't make sense. 

So just sit back and let this song speak to you. 

Well...Youtube's embed feature still isn't working so you'll have to click here to listen to the song.  Sorry about that!

Here...There...

Is it normal to have waves of sadness over moving when it's already been 10 months? 

May and June have been unusually difficult for me.  It all started at the beginning of May when out of the blue I got extremely homesick for BC...  It still comes and goes, but I feel homesick more than I don't right now... 

I know God wants me here, yet I miss my 'other home' so much.  One of my closest friends in Kamloops had her first baby on Tuesday.  An adorable little boy!  I wish with all my heart that I could be there to meet little Nathaniel!  Yet, it appears I won't get to meet him at all this year...and maybe not even next year.  That thought fills me with sadness...  Time is going by, fast, and each day that passes is one day further from when I saw the people I care about. 

I wouldn't trade the months of joy I've had here, nor trade the time I've spent meeting the incredible people here, but all those months can't ever take away from the fact that I spent 9 years in BC.  9 years in the same city.  And in those 9 years I met people that I love dearly!  Being here can't take that away from me, but I feel that as time goes on and distance creeps in that our lives are going to change so much...too much.

I wish I could be in two places at once.  Here with the people I've met but also there with the people I love.  Here with the people that accept me and there with those who have watched me grow up. 

When I was there I wanted what I have now, but now that I'm here I want what I had there.  It's the never ending cycle of 'the grass is greener on the other side'...

I'm just rambling on now. 

Will life always be this way?  Being in one place but wishing for another?  Being tired of getting out of my comfort zone to meet new people and make new friend so I wish for being in my comfort zone with my old friends?  Seeing people walk in and out of my life faster than I can keep up with?  Watching friends lives blossom with marriage and children while feeling like I'm stuck in a rut? 

Ahhh...I don't know anymore.  This rambling isn't making sense!  Haha!  All I know is I'm feeling homesick once again...and I really, I mean REALLY miss my Kamloops friends!  All of them...but today especially Adam and Rachelle...and the chance to meet baby Nathaniel...while he is still tiny!

Book Review: Praying For Your Future Husband

I just finished reading Praying for Your Future Husband, (PFYFH) by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer.  I have read many, if not most of Robin Jones Gunn's books, so when I heard about PFYFH I was excited to read it!

Like the other Robin Jones Gunn books, this one was an easy read full of many points that made me stop and think.  I have prayed for my future husband throughout my life, but this book showed me that there is more to praying for our future husbands than just praying for him.  By praying for him our lives will be changed and molded into who God has made us to be.

Both authors, Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer, shared stories from their individual journeys of life and love, while describing how they came to a place where they began to pray for their husbands.  They broke their life stories into thirteen key characteristics that we need to focus our prayers on.  They describe each area by telling their stories and then give outlines and sample prayers to give the reader ideas to begin praying about.  Throughout the book it becomes evident that if we are open to God working in our lives He will take our love story and make it His love story for us. 

There are so many things I enjoyed about this book!  In fact, I enjoyed every part of the book from the layout, to the incorporation of scriptures.  I definitely would encourage every woman to read it, single or not.  The key characteristics are ones that every woman should focus on praying for their husband, whether they know him yet or not! 

Personally this book reminded me of the importance of setting time aside to pray for my future husband.  I look forward to the day I meet him and see the results of those prayers!  The following remark is from the closing thoughts of PFYFH and it beautifully describes how incredible praying for your future husband is:

"When the day comes that your love story is celebrated by your closest friends and family, you'll know that every prayer was worth it.  Every whispered word from a tender heart is precious to God.  No request is ignored.  No moment spent with your Heavenly Father is wasted.

You might even wish you had prayed more.  Why?  Because your prayers are the first gifts you will give to your future husband.  Gifts in which heaven participates.  Gifts sent ahead before the two of you have even met.  How cool is that?"

Praying for Your Future Husband, page 192

Wow!  Just to think that God takes the prayers we pray and uses them to unite our hearts to the man He has in mind for us excites me!  In the process He also takes our prayers and brings us closer to Him!  It is incredible!

*Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers provided me with a complementary copy in exchange for an honest review of the book.  All opinions about Praying for Your Future Husband are my own.

Friends...for Life

Here is my very first "Peculiar Treasure Tuesday" post!! 

I am going to start this series of posts by writing about my first ever 'peculiar treasure' Megan! 

(At my third birthday party.  Megan on the left, me on the right.)

I honestly don't know when I met Megan.  She was the first friend I ever had!  We probably met shortly after Megan was born...so a few months old or so!  (Okay...so my mom corrected me and told me we were probably two when we met...)

(Me, James (a friend of ours), and Megan at church.)

I have many good memories of the times we spent together when we were young!  When I moved away to a new town at the age of 5 or 6, Megan and I kept in touch by writing letters, and later emails. 

(Megan and I won the church picnic race against our two friends James and Jordan!)

When we were 10 my dad was speaking at the camp Megan and I had gone to in the past.  It was so good to see her again!  I remember camp that year as if it happened yesterday!  I am so thankful for those memories! 

Somehow once camp was over we lost contact for 12 years!  It was unintentional but looking back I wish I hadn't of let the years pass without communicating with Megan!  Yet, God knew how thrilled I would be to get back in touch with my childhood best friend!  (We used to have a pact saying "best friends for life" or something along those lines!  I'm sure she remembers that better than I do...)

(At camp when we were 10.  The last time I had seen Megan.)

This past April my mom and I went to my birth town to see an Easter musical that our old church puts on.  It was going to be showing 3 times.  We went to the Saturday night showing.  When we got there so many people recognized my mom.  I remembered a few of them, and a lot of memories were brought to mind!  There was one lady that I didn't really remember but I won't forget what she told me that night.  She is Megan's grandma and she told me Megan was going to be coming to the church to see Hosanna that night!  I was so excited!  I hadn't seen Megan in 12 years and I was going to see her again!! 

Seeing Megan was like time hadn't past!  Our moms both said we look exactly like we did when we were little!  It's true!  Haha!

(April 2011)

Megan, I am so thankful I saw you at Hosanna in April!  Though many years had passed, when I saw you it was like I had seen you the day before!  That's the beauty of a childhood friendship like ours!  NO matter where life leads us, when we see one another again we can pick up where we left off!  I'm grateful I only live 4 hours away from you now, and I can't wait until you possibly move to my city!!  :)  I am forever grateful for your friendship!!

Honouring Friends and Family

I have officially decided I am going to do a version of "Friends and Family Friday" but I am going to change things up a bit.  If I only do a Friday post it will take forever to go through all my friends and family, so I am going to do two posts a week.  One on Tuesday.  One on Friday.

Tuesday will be "Peculiar Treasure Tuesday."  I love the Robin Jones Gunn books and two of the main characters refer to themselves as 'peculiar treasures' taken from Exodus 19:5: 

"Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine."  (KJV) 

"Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession."  (NIV)

I really like the message this verse brings across and I like to claim this Word of God over my life and my fellow 'peculiar treasures' who are the people God has brought into my life!

Friday will be "Family Friday" but I'm still trying to come up with a nice descriptive term to go with it, so if you think of one feel free to let me know!  I need ideas!  Haha!
So tomorrow I'll write my first "Peculiar Treasure Tuesday" post!  I've been afraid to do posts like this because I am afraid of forgetting someone...but I apologize in advance if I do!  There have been so many people who have impacted my life and I want to honour them!  I'll write about the person who God lays on my heart each week...because He constantly brings people to mind.  Some of those people I haven't seen in years, and may never see again, while others are people I see every week.  It will vary.  I am excited to start these posts! 
Oh, and if you ever want to go back to the various posts, I am going to have headings in my linkbar where they will all be listed for easy viewing! 

Peace

June 15, 2008.

It was Father's Day. 

It is a day that I will always remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. 

I woke up like any other Sunday and got ready to go to the church to help out with Kidz Rock.  It was a routine type of day.  I tried not to think about the fact that my Great Grandpa Sigglekow was terminally ill with only days left to live.  I tried to believe that all would be okay. 

I went into the "Keep" and began to set up for worship.  The worship leader, and great friend Dan got there only minutes after me and began to set up.  He asked if I would co-lead with him that day.  I hadn't co-lead with him before.  I was nervous, but I said I would.  He went to get his guitar...

My dad came up the stairs, came to me, and told me Great Grandpa was gone.  I couldn't believe it.  That was it.  He was gone.  The Great Grandpa I knew the best was gone.  The Great Grandpa who I have so many good memories of was in heaven.  I didn't get to say goodbye...

Dan came upstairs.  Tears were filling my eyes.  I told him I couldn't lead anymore.  In fact, I didn't know how I would get through the day.  I tried to be strong, but it hurt so bad.  Dan asked me what was wrong.  So I told him...

The first thing he did was come over to me, put his arm around my shoulder, and prayed for God's peace to rest upon me.  It was thoughtful.  But it was exactly what Dan would do.  Looking back on that moment I realize the importance of his prayer.  You see, many people found out that my Great Grandpa had died.  Nobody seemed to care.  It felt as though people figured my Great Grandpa had lived a good long life, which he did, but they didn't seem to care about the hurt the family felt.  We missed him.  We still miss him.  We will always miss him.  Out of everyone who found out what had taken place, Dan was the only one who showed genuine care and compassion.  It meant more to me that he will ever know.  In fact, I believe that prayer was what got me through the days that followed. 

Later on in the day Dan asked me how I was doing, and I had to rack my brain to try to figure out why he would ask that...then I remembered Great Grandpa was gone.  Dan's prayer for peace was answered in an instant, and God filled me with so much peace.  More than I've ever felt. 

To most this story may seem insignificant, but to me it meant everything.  God brings people into our lives who will be by our side through thick and thin.  There have been many moments in life where I have felt alone, but when I need someone to be there God is always faithful to bring that friend into my life.  I am so grateful for everyone God has placed into my life in each season I've gone through.  Most of the people in my life will never fully comprehend the value they have in my life or the joy memories like the one I wrote about bring to me.  You all mean more to me than I could ever say! 

*By the way, I'm thinking about starting doing "Friends and Family Friday" themed posts.  I may have to do it more than just on Fridays because I have so many friends and family to write about, but I think it's time to start...it's time to honour my friends and family!

Perspective

A few years ago I went Rock Climbing with a good friend of mine.  He emailed me a couple days after with the following statement:

"Hey, so rock climbing with you was a blast! Thanks for coming out! My arms are actually pretty sore right now, but I love how that feels. Lets you know you worked hard at something..."  DG

In the years that have passed since I received this email I have tried to keep it in mind when I am physically sore.  Whenever I have pulled muscles the first thing I want to do is slow down to minimize the pain.  The memory of this email always reminds me that the pain is a reminder that I "worked hard at something." 

Doing the cleanup from our flooded basement has caused many unusual, and normally unused muscles in my body, especially my left leg, to be injured.  Thus the reminder of this email...

As I was thinking about this email a couple days ago I began to think about how this applies to other parts of life.  I've shared in this blog several ups and downs I've had both now and in the past.  Could the statement my friend made apply to more than just the physical aspect of life? 

The soreness of muscles represents pain.  Could it be that when we face pain in life we can change our perspective from feeling down and gloomy to saying "I love how this feels, because it shows me I did something...I cared." 

There are so many different types of pain people feel throughout their lifetime.  The majority of pain I have felt is pain from friends and family.  Pain from friends walking out of my life without any warning.  Pain from choices friends and family have made that are hurting not only themselves, but those around them.  Pain from seeing people know the truth but have turned from it.  Pain from seeing brokenness.  Pain from the distance that comes as time passes. 

Can it be possible for me to look at all the pain life brings and say with confidence that I embrace it because if I didn't have pain it wouldn't be so obvious that I care about those individuals that have brought the pain.  The pain is a reminder that I care, and care deeply.

Life will be full of joy and pain.  There will be ups and downs.  We can choose how we look at each season of life.  It's all about perspective.  Can we take the common negative connotation of pain and turn it around to remind us that the pain we feel is because we did something...we felt something.  We care.  Can we truly say, like the words of my friend, "...I love how that feels.  Lets you know you worked hard at something!"

**Thanks for your words of wisdom Dan! 

Flooding...

I was planning on writing a post about everything that I've been up to over these past 2 months...

But my household was met with a little 'excitement' this afternoon.

Last night my dad and I put lino in our basement bathroom.  Today the plan was to put the door on and begin putting the sink, toilet, and shower in.  Then it would be completely finished...

Well...my dad was putting the door on and needed to get something for it so he went out.  I was making lunch.  In the meantime my mom and two sisters came home...good thing they did because when my dad got home he noticed the sewer hole for the toilet was backing up into our bathroom...

That was the beginning of our problems.  Long story short, the entire bathroom flooded (time will tell how badly it damaged our work from last night...) as well as many other spots in the basement.  We've spent a good couple hours moving everything away from the flooded areas.

And to think...I thought it was bad this morning when our backyard corner was flooding.  I'd rather have that then a flooded basement!  My dad thinks he figured out the problem so hopefully this will be the end of the flooding...

GO CANUCKS!

Will the Vancouver Canucks take home the Stanley Cup tonight?!  I sure hope so! 

Before the playoffs started I heard the following thought on the news:

Montreal hosted the Olympics...the following year they won the cup.

Calgary hosted the Olympics...the following year they won the cup.

Vancouver hosted the Olympics...will they also win the cup?

GO CANUCKS GO!! 

(I'm not usually a hockey or any type of sports fan...but when it comes to the finals I definitely have sides...and I can cheer pretty loud!  Haha!  Since I lived in BC for so long, the Canucks are one of my teams!)

Oh Technology

I love technology.  I love that it connects me with people who don't live nearby.  When I was in BC I loved that I could see pictures of my extended family and feel like the distance between us was minimal. 

Yet, as much as I love technology and the ease of communication it has brought, lately I've been finding myself feeling silent...or maybe it's just ignored.  Whatever the case, lately the majority of people I've tried to stay in contact with are ignoring my attempts.  It makes me feel silent.  Like what I am saying isn't getting across or is unimportant.  I feel like I'm throwing my heart out into a giant void of nothing and it's being engulfed.  It seems as though every effort I put out is useless.  Yet I keep on trying...and trying...and trying.  Maybe it's me.  Maybe it's them.  Maybe I'll never know... 

I'm not quite sure when to give up...if I even should.  I don't want to.  I care too deeply to give up on anyone, especially those whom God has placed on my heart.  So I try, and try again, hoping that someday someone will at least care enough to respond.  That would sure make my heart happy!  But unfortuately that isn't the case right now...so I'll keep trying and reaching out, while praying that even as they ignore me they will feel God's arms of love around them.

Someday...

On the weekend some of my family and I went to visit a family from our church that lives outside of the city.  I had only driven through that area twice before, but both times I found myself wishing and hoping that someday I'll live there.  This time was no different...except I had an even greater desire to live out there someday.

The area is the Qu'Appelle Valley.  It is one of the few places in SK that is hilly...it reminds me a lot of Kamloops.  And someday I'm going to live there.  The yards are larger.  (The majority of yards in the city are tiny compared to what I had in BC!)  The land is hilly.  It is beautiful!  And the best part is that although it is a small town (not what I'm used to) it is only 15 minutes outside of the city!!  I can handle that! 

Ever since driving through the valley on Sunday I've found myself dreaming of the future...a future in the valley.  A future where I'll have a large yard with a big garden.  AND GUESS WHAT!!!??  I discovered this past weekend that we can grow fruit here in SK!!!!!!!! 

Not just raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, and saskatoon berries.  No!  In Kamloops I said I was going to have an orchard someday!  And I still can...but in SK!  I can grow cherries, grapes, apples, plums, peaches, pears, apricots, and arctic kiwi!!  I am so excited!! 

AND, until I have my own home with my own orchard, I will enjoy the fresh fruit from a local orchard...one I just found out about moments ago!  Mmmm...my mouth is watering!  Haha!! 

Someday I'll have my dream come true.  I may not be in BC like I imagined just over a year ago, but I'm where God has me...and it's just like God to show me that by being where He has me I will be blessed...blessed to live out my dream! 

Beautiful Blossoms

This is what I've been enjoying over the past week or so...

It is some sort of a 'fake cherry tree' but it reminds me of my yard in BC!  In BC we had a grape vine and plum, cherry, and apple trees!  We used to always enjoy the beautiful fruit blossoms at this time of year!  I am so thankful our new yard has at least one blossoming tree...even if it only has ornamental fruit on it! 

Just like this time last year, I am once again enjoying the blossoms.  This time I am not dreading my final days in the city I grew up in.  Instead, I am remembering the memories I made there. 

Catching Up

Wow!  Blogger has completely changed it's website!  This may take a while to get used to! 

On the weekend a lady by the name of Joan Hunter came to do some healing services and teaching.  It was a great weekend!  There were 8 services!  Thousands of healings took place and on Saturday Joan Hunter did some training sessions to teach us some of the things God has showed her.  I have always known God heals, but as I saw the thousands of healings occur I realized that God can and will use me, and every other Christian who steps out in faith.  As I go out and pray for people to be healed Jesus will reach out and heal them!  It's exciting! 

Arms and legs grew.  Backs, necks, and knees were healed.  Shoulders were restored.  Arthritis and Osteoporosis were healed.  Walkers, slings, and crutches were left behind!  Lives were changed forever!  All thanks to Jesus!!  It was amazing!

Other than being busy with all those services, I have been busy doing odds and ends around the house and enjoying my few weeks off before I start a new job.  I kind of wish I had been smart and caught a ride to BC with my grandparents.  It would have been nice to go to the mountains, especially because I do not know when I will be able to go back.  With a full time job with limited vacation time it will be impossible to go away this summer...and I just may end up using my vacation time to go to Israel in February!!  (If I have enough by then!)  So it may be over a year before I can go back to my 'hometown'...  :(  BUT, I am thrilled to think that I may actually get to go to Israel!!!  It would be a dream come true!  I have always wanted to go there!! 

Oh, and I printed out most of my pictures from 2010, so I'll hopefully be getting some scrapbooking done in the next couple weeks!  Going through all the pictures from my last days in BC brought back so many memories!  I can't wait to scrapbook them! 

"Faith" Cake

My camera cord is still missing, but I was able to put my memory card into my computer...in the past every time I tried this the card wouldn't go in...today it did thankfully!!

Here are the photos of my "Faith" cake!

Attempt #1:  Fail

This was my first attempt at the "Faith" cake but unfortunately it crumbled.  Lesson learned: Add more icing to chocolate mixture!

Attempt #2:  Success!

I didn't have time to decorate this one, but the inside is what really counts...the cross!  :)  Now I know how to make it for next time!!



I found the idea for this cake at I Am Baker and since it looked so neat I had to try it! 

Lost :(

Apparently I have misplaced my camera cord so unfortunately I will not be able to upload my cake pictures until I find it!  :(

Hopefully I'll find it really soon!  I'm eager to share my pictures with you!

A Brief Update

Okay, I admit that I made a nice cake and it was a flop...so I didn't really take any pictures of the inside.  :(  The entire cake crumbled, but everyone at Bible Study said it tasted good.  Since I took the original cake to Bible Study on Monday my family wanted me to make another one, which I did today.  This one turned out wonderfully!!  I'll upload and post my pictures tomorrow!  I don't even want to say what the cake looked like...I'll let you see it!

On a completely different note, I realized today that today, June 1, marks exactly 4 years since my grad ceremony!  I can't believe how fast time has flown by!  So much has happened in the past 4 years.  I went through 2 years of ID, 1 year of Tourism Management, moved two provinces away, completed a few health related courses, met many people, and have been very blessed!  I wonder what the next 4 years will have in store! 

Hold On

I feel bad that I haven't written much lately...  You'd think that with all the extra time I've had this month I would find time to blog!  Haha!  Unfortunately I have no clue where the past month has gone...there have been so many things around the house that I've been working on to keep me pretty busy!

I do have a fun post coming sometime this week!  I've spent this morning baking a neat cake that I want to share with you all!!  I'm excited about it! 

But until then, I'll leave you with a song that's been speaking to me today.  It's "Stronger" by Mandisa.  I hope it will be an encouragement to you as well! 

Hope

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~Jeremiah 29:11

We Are Worth It

Sorry last post was so heavy...  There's so much going on right now that I feel overwhelmed.  It feels as though life is throwing one thing after another at me.

But last night at church God spoke directly to my heart. 

It doesn't matter if the person I wrote about in last post doesn't want to be friends anymore.  It doesn't matter if the entire world rejected me.  It doesn't matter if nobody in the entire planet cared about me.  Nothing anybody can do will take away the fact that JESUS LOVES ME!  He died for me! 

And it doesn't matter what others think of you either, because Jesus loves you too!  He died for you! 

He saw you and me in every stage of our lives and He said we are worth His very life!  How incredible is that!  It blows my mind away!

Hold My Heart

I've been open.  I've been vulnerable.  I've shared pieces of my heart that are fragile.  Things I've always kept to myself.  But I chose to bring them to light...because I felt I was healing.  I felt that season was over.  Done. Forever.

Yeah...not.  Here I find myself again.  Going through the same thing I've gone through since high school. 

Having people you care dearly about choose to walk away, choose to move on leaving you in the dust hurts more than anything.  I've always looked at it as worse than death...because in death the person didn't choose to leave, but here in life the person did choose to leave.  They decided the relationship wasn't worth it.  Friendship was no longer their desire...

It hurts.  I really don't know what to say other than the fact that this latest blow has me confused. 

I've begun to question if having friends is even worth it.  Is joy of having a friend for 6 months worth the pain that comes when they walk away?  Is caring about someone worth it?  Sometimes I wonder if it really is.  I mean if this pattern is to continue than I don't think it is.  But somehow I'll continue trying.  Continue being a friend.  Continue loving...because if I want to be more like Jesus I need to follow His example and love everyone...even those that hurt me.  Even those who reject me.  Even those who have up and walked out of my life. 

Maybe one day they'll look back on their lives and wish they hadn't walked away as fast as they did.  Who really knows.  All I know in the process there are many people they are hurting. 

But despite the pain, the hurt, the confusion I choose to stand tall.  Somehow I pray God will give me strength to endure the arrows life throws at me.  It may be hard, but I won't give in...I can't...  Jesus please hold my heart...