Break the Cycle - In Memory of a Friend

Warning:  This post will not be an easy post to read, but I believe it must be written, read, and shared.

About a year and a half ago now, one of my sister's closest childhood friends committed suicide.

Even writing those words...word's I've tried not to think or speak...bring tears to my eyes and an ache in my heart.

A young, twenty-something girl gone in an instant.  Her entire life ahead of her.  Gone.  Because of hopelessness.

So many times since that day I wondered if there was anything I could've done to change the outcome of her life.  Obviously I know everyone has their own choices to make.  I don't have the ability to 'play God,' and nobody is responsible for another's actions.  BUT, could I have lived my life differently in the way I interacted with her?  Could I have somehow spoken something, done something, to plant a seed of God's hope and truth within her?  Something that in her desperate hour she would've remembered and turned to God instead of ending her life?

When someone's been in your life, and spent hours upon hours at your house, it's hard not to ask those questions.

Unfortunately, for my sister's friend, there isn't a second chance.  There isn't a way for me to intentionally speak life into her heart.  BUT, for many, many others, I still have that opportunity.

One thing I've been recognizing on a greater scale is our generation's tendency to take people for granted.  I had a conversation a couple weeks ago regarding the talent of a mutual friend...how we didn't realize how talented this other friend was until we stepped back and listened to someone else perform.

That short 2 minute conversation totally changed my perspective on the people in my life.

How often do I take the people in my life for granted?  How often do I expect them to just be there when I need them?  How many times do I notice the familiar things about them and deliberately call them out...speak life into their talents, abilities, and dreams?  How often do I tell them how valued they are to me?

More often, I find myself going day in and day out just 'expecting'.  Having an expectation because I know them so well.  How often do things go unsaid because I expect to talk to them later.  I expect to see them again.

How often do I spend my time focused on my life and the busyness of trying to accomplish everything this society 'expects' me to do?  How often do I focus on my issues, problems, hurts, and fears instead of taking time to recognize the world does not revolve around me?

How often do I stop in the midst of everything around me just to love?  Just to care?  Just to speak life, hope, and the truth of God into the hearts of those around me?

Truthfully, not enough.

See, sometimes I think about the "what ifs."  What if I never had a chance to talk to that family member or friend again?  What if something happened to them?  Would I have taken the time out of my day to show how valuable they are to me?  What if something happened and I got sick and could no longer live my life like I always have?  Or, what if something happened and I died tomorrow?  Would those I love wish they would've taken the time to do the same to me, and show me they value me?

We aren't promised tomorrow.  We aren't even promised the next second or the next breath.  ALL we have is now.

So, why are we holding out?  Why are we letting the things of this life hinder us from truly valuing, loving, and caring for those in our lives?  Why do we get so caught up in the 'expectations'?  Of expecting that we'll have another opportunity.

I didn't have another opportunity with my sister's friend.  I let life and years get in the way.  I'm guilty of everything I just wrote.

But, thanks to God's grace, we can start now.  Now, with this only moment we have for sure.  We can begin to change the way our generation views the people in their lives.  We can begin to be intentional about living a lifestyle where we choose to show the people in our lives that they matter, instead of expecting them to somehow know it.  We can be the ones who begin to call out the gold and beauty in the lives around us.  We can be the ones to shine the love of Jesus everywhere we go.

In memory of my sister's friend, let's choose to break the mould of this generation and stop taking the people in our life for granted.  Because they may not be there tomorrow.