I've been listening to a 4 part message series called "Prodigals" that Louie Giglio spoke at Passion City Church. It has been an encouragement, and has given me a lot to think about, so I thought I would share the link with all of you! :)
Part 1 - Surprise
Part 2 - The Power of Here and Now
Part 3 - Speech Interrupted
Part 4 - A Who God In A Do World
"Can you hear the sound?
His Spirit calling out
These bones are gonna rise
These bones will live again
These bones are gonna rise, gonna rise
These bones will live again"
I just heard this Phillips, Craig, and Dean song (These Bones) for the first time. Hope is the only word I can think of to describe the feeling I feel right now. It reminds me of the Valley of Dry Bones in Ezekiel 37. Right now there may seem to be a valley of dry bones around me. The truth is that God is saying "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’" (Ezekiel 37:4-6)
"These bones are gonna rise. These bones will live again." I can hear it...I hear the rattling of an army awakening...
Ever since the summer I've had a few thoughts rolling around in my head. I guess it's time to get them written down...
Months ago I had a dream. In the dream I was talking to my mom about moving back to Kamloops. My mom was trying to convince me to stay here, but I told her "Kamloops needs Jesus just as much as the people here do." In other words, the need to know the truth of God's love is as great there as it is here.
That dream really impacted me. It reminded me of how much compassion I have for the lost, and how much I want to see them saved. It doesn't matter if it's here, or there; whether I'm overseas or in Canada. Everywhere around me there are people who need the Lord.
In the summer God really tugged at my heart as I was finishing up my last couple months at work. I had a deep desire to finish well. It wasn't that I didn't have the desire to make an impact before, it's that as my final day of work drew closer I realized just how much work needed to be done. I realized that there were parts of my time there where I was too wrapped up in things going on in my own life that I didn't take the time I should have to pray for and love my co-workers. There were moments where it was just a job, but this summer I realized that God has called me to more than that. He's called me to be a missionary. To spread His light wherever I go.
I've always had a desire to tell others about Jesus' love. And for years I've known that's what my 'calling' is. To be a missionary. To go overseas on short missions trips, and come home to work so I can go back on another short mission trip. This summer though I began to realize even deeper that missions is so much more than going overseas. It's more than spending time with little Guatemalan children telling stories, and doing skits to show them that Dios es amor. (God is love.) Missions isn't just about travelling from one place to the next. Missions is about spreading the mission of Christ...to seek and save the lost. (Luke 19:10) Missions is about who the 'missionary' is. It's who I am. It's not where I live that makes me a missionary. It's the light of Jesus shining through me that makes me one.
And as I was reminded in my dream...Canada needs Jesus just as much as Guatemala. And since I live here, it makes sense for me to be who I am and be faithful to the call Jesus has given me.
As one of my favourite children's videos, The Donut Man, says, "How can we wait until tomorrow, they're lost in sin and sorrow. We love, and pray, and give so they might live in Jesus."
When I started school this year I made a silent commitment to not procrastinate like I always tend to do. I'm really good at procrastinating. Especially when it comes to writing essays and papers. (Which is why I'm writing this post...to take a break from the hours I've been sitting trying to formulate thoughts for an essay.) For some reason I love to write my thoughts, like in this blog and in my journal, but I have a hard time writing research papers and essays.
So far, in this first month of school I've been doing pretty well at staying up to speed with my homework. I haven't had any major panic moments where it's the night before something is due and I haven't started it...I'm hoping I won't encounter that at all! :)
Since I haven't been in school for two years, I forgot what intense amounts of homework was like... :( I feel like I'm up to my head in a pile of never ending homework! I think it must be time to take a break and do something for an evening that doesn't require homework! Haha!
Well, that's enough of my homework ranting and procrastinating! Time to get back to my paper!
Fall happens to be a natural season of change. The leaves begin to change from green to yellow, orange, and red. The days are shorter and the air is cooler. Everything in the natural points to the yearly passage from summer to autumn.
This year everything in my life is pointing itself to a similar pattern of change. My last post summarized the beginning of a change. I finished my job, and then I left for a week and a half vacation. It was so good to get away and go 'home', even if for only a few days.
On my journey I saw a lot of family, went on many hikes, took hundreds of pictures, and saw a few friends. It was great! My mom went with me to BC after our family reunion. It was nice to spend some extra time with her.
I was able to get rested up on my trip, which I am thankful for because when I got home things went from busy to crazy busy. As soon as I got home I was thrown into school mode. With school starting a few days after I got home, I was busy trying to get ready and organized for my first year back at school after two years. It took a lot of adjusting to get my mind back into school mode!
Not only was I trying to deal with school starting, I had to deal with the reality that in just a couple short weeks (from when I left for my trip to when I got home) my closest friends moved away. One to another province, and two to another country. Coming home felt like it did 2 years ago when I first moved here...nothing is as I have known it.
In many ways, this fall has started out feeling like I have moved somewhere completely different. The physical surroundings around me are the same, but the people and places are not. It's a weird feeling to have everything I have known be flipped upside down!
So, here I find myself at the middle of September 2012. Everything has changed. As the leaves are falling outside and harvest season starts I can't help but hope and pray even as the things that I've known have fallen away I will experience a harvest of life, love, joy, grace, and blessing in my life and in the lives of those I love.
As I sit down to write this post at the end of a crazy week I can't help but feel blessed.
This week has been full of laughter, memories, and many tears. At times I felt like this week would never end, but it turns out it went by too fast.
I finished my last day of work today. As I drove away tears filled my eyes...tears because of the reality of how blessed I have been. Change is never easy for me. Often I long for something new and different, but when that time actually comes I have a hard time accepting the change. Such is the case with the end of this chapter of my life.
I am excited to be going to school to have education for a career which I hope will allow me to do some travelling and missions work in the future. Yet as excited as I am to go on in my life, it's hard leaving behind the life I've know for the past year. My time at my job was great! I am so blessed to have had the opportunity I had to work there! I can't even begin to describe the blessings...
As I drove home after work today I couldn't help but reflect on the reality that God really truly used me. I am overwhelmed that despite the personal hardships of the year the light of Christ shone brightly through me. I saw that as I was taken out for lunch yesterday with two of my office coworkers and the owners wife. I saw that as I got a card signed from many of my coworkers. I saw that as I received a card from my coworker friend that is replacing me. And I also saw it as I had flowers 'anonymously' sent to me today. I saw how just being who I am and being willing for God to use me has created an atmosphere around me which blesses those I know. It's like how I wrote exactly a month ago about how God has chosen to use little me to do what only my great big God can do! It's amazing!
I am blessed to know that even as I am done my time in my workplace that there are people there who will always have a place in my heart. As the years go by I will always remember them. I will always remember this past year and reflect on the blessing it has been!
Though it's hard to say goodbye (especially since the last month and a half has been a blast as I was training and getting to know my replacement...who quickly became a friend.) I have peace in knowing that God is faithful and He has heard the cry of my heart.
It's time for a new chapter to begin.
"We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony." As our testimony is spoken, faith rises. The testimony gives way to hope and faith that God is true to His promises! It is a reminder that He is truth! It opens the door to salvation! The blind will see! The lame will walk! The deaf will hear! And the lost will be found! They WILL be found!
This is what I quickly scribbled down at work today. I had two songs, plus a conversation running through my mind as I jotted those words down.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about testimonies and how God uses them to open doors in people's lives. Today I had an opportunity to share a testimony of mine about how Jesus healed me from some food allergies! I was so excited! The door opened and I took the opportunity to let Jesus' truth shine through!
After I shared my testimony with my friend I couldn't help but have so much joy in knowing that Jesus had total victory in that conversation! The enemy that seeks to steal, kill, and destroy was crushed! It reminds me of Revelation 12:11. The Message version says "They defeated him through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness." They defeated him, satan, through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness. They DEFEATED him!!
There is power in sharing our testimonies. It doesn't matter how big or small your testimony may seem, it's your testimony of how Jesus has worked in you and through you! For me it happens to be a testimony of healing that I shared, and I know God isn't done with the conversation I had earlier today! It was only the beginning of something huge...because I serve a HUGE God!
God is doing exciting things! I look forward to the day, that IS coming, where I will see the blind see! I will see the lame walk! The deaf will hear! And the lost WILL be found!! They WILL be found!!
Every prayer prayed, every tear cried, every testimony shared is just a step in this journey. Those we are praying for WILL see the Lord. He IS faithful! So be faithful to step out and let His light shine through you!
Have you ever had a week or season of your live where it feels like everything is coming at you from all directions? That's how this week feels for me...
This is my last week at my job. I only have three days left, which I can not believe! It doesn't feel like it should already be the middle of August, but it is. This last week of work is kind of bitter sweet for me, maybe a little more bitter than sweet... I'm excited to be moving on in my schooling, but I am so sad to say goodbye to my coworkers. I'm really going to miss seeing them everyday! I have been so blessed to have a great boss and amazing coworkers! My mom keeps saying I'll have to go back and visit, which I'm sure I will! :)
Leading into this week I knew it would be tough, with it being my last week of work and all, but I didn't realize what else would soon be coming my way...
Yesterday night my family had two of my closest friends over for dinner. It was the last time that we will have them over before they move to California. I'm going to miss them so much! Amanda is one of the first people I met here, and therefore my first friend here!
Then yesterday I found out another friend is moving soon, and today I found out yet another friend is moving even sooner! Needless to say it's been a very teary week so far!
I feel like I'm in a season of complete change. This summer has been so good up until now. It's been peaceful. It's been full of joy. It's been busy, but in a way quiet. Nothing dramatic or surprising has happened...until now. I guess it's a reminder that seasons come and seasons go, yet God is in the middle of it all. I may not understand why all this change is happening, yet I know that God sees the reasons why. And I know that just as He has always been by my side, He is still by my side.
In closing I want to share the lyrics to a song by Starfield that have been going around in my head all evening: "Faith might mean there won't be answers, and hope might mean enduring through the night, but help me not forget in darkness the things that I believed in light." (Something to Say by Starfield)
I've had the song "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson stuck in my head all day. It really is the cry of my heart...
"Cause I don't want to live like I don't care. I don't want to say another empty prayer. I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself. Oh I could choose not to move, but I refuse."
The countdown until this coming weekend has been in full swing for a few weeks now, but today I started counting down in hours instead of days!!! Friday afternoon can't come soon enough! One of my best friends from when I was little is coming to visit me and I can't wait! It's been 4 years since I've seen her!
I've been frantically trying to get my room organized before she gets here. We moved my sister into her new bedroom on Sunday night, so now I have my own room and get to organize it how I want it! :) It's been an exciting week, that's for sure!
Well, I better get back to organizing! Less than 48 hours until Amanda gets here!!! :)
"I wanna look like love. Be more than just enough for the hearts that are broken, coming undone. It's up to you and me to leave a legacy if we're all they ever see. I wanna look like love.
If I believe there's a Saviour, is the proof in me? Is He alive and breathing? Is He what they remember, is He what they see when they look at me?"
~ Britt Nicole, from Look Like Love
The last number of weeks this song has been rolling around in my head.
I now only have three weeks left in my workplace. THREE! I can't believe how fast the time has flown by. Everyday my co-worker friend who I've been training and I talk about how it already a certain day. Each time we talk about it a bigger lump forms in my throat, and a bigger well of tears begins to form in my eyes. Time is going too fast...I'm not ready to leave there...
But I know it's time to start a new chapter in my life. The question running around in my mind is "do the people I work with see Jesus in me? Have I been an example to them? Have I shone the love of Jesus to them? When I am no longer working there will they remember me for me, or for what they saw in me?" My prayer and desire is that they will remember me for WHO they saw in me...not just me for me.
Right now these thoughts are all about my work situation, but reality is it should be the way every Christian should live their life. We should be living every day to shine the love of Jesus to everyone around us...regardless of how much time we have with somebody, because nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.
So, at work I have exactly 14 days left...14 days to pray "Lord use me." 14 days to say "Jesus, please make this day count for You." 14 days to look like Love. 14 days that I pray do not go by quickly...because I'm going to miss everyone of my coworkers....
...stop slavery.
About a month ago I came across a video put together by Passion 268 called "Freedom Film." It's a video about modern slavery. It was extremely moving.
Prior to watching this movie, I knew slavery still existed, but I wasn't hit with the reality of it until I took the time to watch this video.
I encourage you to take 40 minutes out of your day to watch it, and to share it with your friends! Slavery needs to be stopped...now!
Here's the link to the video on the Passion 268 website. http://268generation.com/passion2013/freedom-film/
Here is the English version of the song I posted yesterday, so all my non-Spanish speaking readers can understand the song.
"We Are" by Kari Jobe:
I've been in a "Spanish mood" lately...
I guess it's not just now, it's always. Ever since I went to Guatemala in 2005, I have been in love with the Spanish language...just as I fell in love with the Guatemalan people. Throughout the past year or so I've been aching to go back to Guatemala, and so since I'm not there yet I've been immersing myself with the language.
Here's one of the latest songs I've been listening to...
It's "Somos la Luz" by Kari Jobe...
I only have one more month left at my job. I can't believe how fast the time has flown by! I am very excited for the new chapter I'll be starting in the fall, but I am starting to be sad about leaving all the wonderful people I work with.
Happy Canada Day!!
Over the past month or so I have been wanting to write this post. I've thought over and over of what to write. But I've put it off...life has been crazy busy! Tonight though, I really feel that it's time to write it.
Throughout the last year or so I've had such an ache inside me for my generation.
My generation is hurting. My generation is searching. My generation is falling.
I long to see my generation rise up. I long to see it stand tall.
As I look around I see people going to drugs. Going to alcohol. Living in sin. I see young pregnant girls trying to figure out how to fit into their new role as a future single mom.
I see people who go to church on the weekend, but during the week they do whatever pleases them...so they fit in with the crowd.
We were not called to fit in. We are called to make a difference. We are called to stand out. We are called to live in the world, but not be of the world. Yet I see my generation, Christians included, who are living in the world.
My heart aches so deeply to see these people rise up and shine for Jesus! They all have so much to give. They all have so many lives to reach for Him that only they can reach!
Why has this generation, my generation, settled for less than what God has for us?
Around two months ago I started watching American Idol because I heard of a young man on the show who was taking a stand for Jesus. The very first performance I saw of his was "Everything" by Lifehouse. As I watched Colton Dixon worship Jesus on stage as the world was watching, tears filled my eyes.
Colton inspired me. He showed me in that moment that my generation is not forgotten. He showed me that my generation still has hope. God IS raising up people to take a stand for Him. For Colton that stand is in front of millions. For me that stand is in front of my coworkers, as well as people I have met, and who I will meet throughout my life.
Will you also rise up? Will you stand firm for Jesus, no matter what? Will you live your life in a way that those around you will truly see Jesus living in you? Will you join the community of Christians who have already committed to living completely for Jesus? What a wonderful community it is!
Will you show the world Jesus is your everything?
Here is Colton's final American Idol performance of "Everything." (Sorry it's not full width.)
Here's another video of the entire song.
I honestly can't believe June will be here at the end of the week! Where has this year gone?!
Life has been busy lately. A new kind of busy. I've been busy making cakes for various events this year. I made cupcakes for my Aunt's birthday in January.
Happy Easter Sunday!
A few minutes ago I heard the song "Praying For You" by the Katinas. I hadn't heard it before but it really encouraged me this morning so I thought I'd share it with you!
In the days leading up to Easter, my church is going through a devotional book called "Seek God For The City 2012." The prayer from Monday's devotional stood out to me so I wanted to share it with you.
"Father, You've been constantly watching for Your long-lost sons and daughters to return to You. Awaken their yearning for You. Empower those who turn toward home. Run toward them as the come. Convince them of Your unchanging love, regardless of what they have done or how long they have been away. Let the homecoming party begin."
Amen. So be it.
"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
~Matthew 17:20
Growing up, every time when I was going away or planning on doing something fun one of my Great Uncle's would tell me to make sure I ate a lemon when, just to ensure I didn't have any fun. The next time I would see him I would tell him that I had a lemon, but that the sour taste of the lemon didn't ruin my fun.
This game I played with my Great Uncle always reminds me of the saying that says, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade."
Life will hand everyone lemons, but it's up to us to decide if we are going to let the sour take over, or turn it into something sweet...something delicious.
The past few months I've felt trapped. Very trapped. Trapped in sorrow. Trapped in pain. Trapped in confusion and hurt. Each time I felt pain, I would pull away even further from the people around me. I quit talking to people, because it was emotionally exhausting to reach out to anyone...and I didn't feel like anyone was reaching out to me. In the past few months I have felt more lost than I have ever felt in my entire life. I suppose I let the sourness of the lemons in my life take over.
When life takes a turn you didn't ever imagine possible, it's so easy to get trapped in the pain that you lose sight of what is important. That's what happened to me...and that's what the enemy would like to happen to us all. He wants us to feel defeated and alone. He wants us to doubt our purpose and destiny.
Reality is though that the enemy has already been defeated. He was defeated when Jesus rose from the dead. I just need to cling to the hope that God is in control. He knows exactly what I need...just as He knows exactly what you need.
There's a song I've been listening to called "The Anthem" by Jesus Culture. There's a line that says "Wake up child, it's your time to shine. You were born for such a time as this." That's become my anthem. It's time to wake up...time to make lemonade out of the lemons.
I started this blog 2 years ago because I felt like I was to use it to be a voice to those who would stumble upon it.
A lot has happened in those 2 years. There have been ups. There have been downs. I've shared pieces of my journey on this blog, but in May I lost my inspiration. I lost my passion. I slowly stopped writing. I would continously think of new posts to write, but it seemed like so much effort to take those thoughts and turn them into something that made sense. I contimplated giving up blogging entirely. I almost closed my blog from the public...but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Even though I had lost my inspiration for why I was blogging, I knew deep down inside that I wasn't to stop forever. It was only for a season.
For the last month or so I've started up new blog posts, to get back into the blogging world, but I didn't finish them. I felt like I didn't have anything important to say. I felt like my voice was gone. Tonight my mom reminded me that I do have a voice. I may not be great at public speaking. I may be awkward at starting up a conversation. I may have a hard time opening up to others. Yet, despite all the things I'm not good at, I do have a voice. I find it easier to communicate on paper than in person. It's just who I am.
So, I'm not going to close down my blog. I've decided to begin sharing again. I'm opening up my life again. It's time to blossom, not hide.
I invite you to join me on my life's journey!
It has been forever since I have written a blog post. I need to get back into it, and get caught up on where I left off, but tonight I just have one thing to say.
Proverbs 18:21 from the Message...
"Words kill, words give life;
they're either poison or fruit—you choose."
Watch what you say...because if you don't, the words that come out of your mouth can truly kill. They can be the poison that destroys someone's dream...and I have all to well seen the results of this...
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