Spring...Right Around The Corner...Or Is It?

  

Being from BC I have to say, I am not a fan of winter.  If you have read my previous blog posts, I can guarantee you would immeditely come to that conclusion about me.  It's no secret I am anxiously awaiting spring.  BC spoiled me rotten!  And I know I'm not helping any by being a brat about wanting spring NOW...something I should work on I guess...

Anyway, last Sunday my mom's parents were here and we were able to go to an indoor floral conservatory.  It was a nice break to get away from the -30C weather we have been having, with not much of a warm up in sight. 

Here's a few of the pictures I took:  If you are somewhere that is COLD and has more snow than you can imagine...maybe you'll appreciate these pictures!  ;)

Purpose

I just finished watching "The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader" for the second time.  I have to say out of the three, this one is my favourite.

There is a line that really stood out to me from the end of the movie.  Prince Caspian is given the opportunity to leave Narnia behind and go to Aslan's land.  Caspian walks to the wall of water, but turns around and says something along the lines of "I've spent so much time looking for what I lost that I forgot about what I've been given:  The people...  I'm going to be a better king." 

This line really got me thinking.  As a Christian how often have I overlooked those around me.  Those who are broken.  Those who are confused.  Those who are searching.  Those who are walking through life without a true purpose.  Those who need Jesus.  How often have I been just like Prince Caspian and have looked at what I "lost" (selfish desires) versus what I have been given.  There is a purpose for why I am here.  There are people in my path who I need to reach out to.  Why hold in the Light when there is darkness all around?  Why keep the worlds best Gift to myself when it was meant to be shared with EVERYONE? 

I desire to be faithful with what I have been given.  I don't want to waste my life and find when the end comes that I did nothing.  I want my life to be used fully.  I want my life to be used to radiate the love of Christ.  I want to become a better steward of what I've been given:  grace and salvation from Jesus.  Because that is really what the purpose of life is...

Ready For Spring...

Can you tell I've been so bored lately!?  I've been writing on this blog a lot over the past couple days...and in the moments when I haven't, I've been thinking about things to write about...how sad is that! 

Until recently I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that winter is such a depressing season for so many.  I know it has to do with the amount of sunlight, and vitamin D levels...but even then I couldn't understand how it could be "THAT" bad...well, until I moved to SK and have been experiencing winter for what seems like FOREVER!!

I am more than ready for spring.  Spring is my favourite time of the year.  I love hearing the birds sing outside my window.  I get all excited when the flowers begin to surface.  And in BC, I would marvel at the beauty of the blossoms on all the beautiful fruit trees.  I don't know how I am going to survive not seeing those blossoms this year...

Over the past few weeks the weather has been 'taunting' us here in SK...we will have 2-3 days of warm weather (warm being anywhere between -3 to +3) and then it turns brutally cold (meaning -30 or so...).  CAN SPRING PLEASE JUST BE HERE ALREADY!!!!!!!  I don't want to see the white any longer!  In some places the piles of snow are almost as tall as me...100% different from where I lived in BC.  Snow would come for a day or two...maybe a week...and then it would all melt...and the snow really wasn't that deep at all...

I was doing alright with living here...but over the past week I've been really missing BC.  I've been missing my city, my home, my life there, my friends...  For awhile I was okay...but really nothing can ever replace it.  In life you can never have the 'best of both worlds' like I often wish I could have.  If I live in BC I'm so far from my wonde

rful extended family, but if I am here in SK I am so far away from the mountains, the early spring, friends who have known me the longest of anyone outside my family...

I think it's just me missing the spring and feeling the winter blues that has made me feel down about missing BC...and I think that is what has also contributed to my brain turning to mush and being random all the time (much to the expense of my blog posts...).  I've been trying to pretend that spring is on it's way (though it really isn't yet) by planting a few plants inside, and by having pictures of flowers and fruit blossoms everywhere I look...

Going To Israel!?!?

Now that my trip to visit my friend out east is no longer going to happen, I need to plan something to look forward to...

I have always wanted to go to Israel (though never alone...) and my mom suggested that I put the money I was going to use for my trip to New York towards my trip to Israel.  The problem is though that I have no clue where to start looking for trip packages...so I need your help.

I want to take a Christian tour...one of the ones where they take you to different places mentioned in the Bible and they tell you about what it was like in the Bible days and then read portions of the Bible that that place is mentioned in.  I want to go for as long as I can.  I know I've heard of people who have gone on these types of trips, I just can't remember who they are...and there are so many different websites offering similar trips...I want to choose the best one! 

Yesterday I wasn't even thinking about Israel...I was thinking about New York.  If I could have my way I'd choose going to New York to see my friend over going to Israel by myself  (anyone want to join me!! :)...but since I can't have my way, I'll go to Israel...  Really when it comes down to it there isn't really any comparison between the two...so why am I trying to make one!  Haha!  New York and Kim is New York and Kim...Israel is Israel.  Two completely different things really!  Okay, I'll stop at that... :p

So, let me know if you have gone on a trip like this or if you know someone who has.  Israel...I hope to be seeing you SOON!! :)

One Of Those Days...

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like everything has been pulled out from under you.  The plans you made/were making fell apart.  The dreams you had were crumbled.  The thing you were looking forward to no longer is going to happen...

That's my day today.  Days like today are heart wrenching.  Days like today remind me of the song "Something To Say" by Starfield. 

It's days like today where everything I stand on gets shaken...just as much as the situation in front of me... I'm not perfect, and I admit I have my weak moments.  It's just so hard to have faith when something I prayed for, something I really truly believed God was arranging, falls apart... 

It's in moments like these that I need to remind myself of the lines in the song... "faith might mean there won't be answers, and hope might mean enduring through the night, but help me not forget in darkness, the things that I believed in light."

Things in life, well my life at least, hardly ever turn out the way I hoped for...or the way I prayed for.  Maybe if I reverse my desires they actually would happen!  Haha!  Maybe I should have said "I DO NOT want to go on a trip out east" ...then I would still be able to go!  But as it turns out, apparently my plans fell apart again...

Well, at least I have my passport now...and it even came early.  Get that!  Now that it looks like I'm not going out east anymore... :'( ...I'll have to find somewhere else to go so it wasn't a waste of a passport...

It's just been "one of those days"...and I'm sorry if this post makes absolutely no sense.  There is nothing that's making any sense in my brain right now.  I hope you are having a much better day where all your hopes, plans, dreams, and prayers turn out! 

So Full...

This week has been an off week.  It was one of those weeks where it felt like everything that could go wrong was well on it's way to going wrong... It was a week that I entered with anticipation, expecting great things...but as so often it's when I expect it that I end up becoming disappointed because things hardly ever turn out the way I think they should.  It was a week of frustration and stress.  And I am SO glad this week is almost over! 

Yet in spite of everything this week held that was discouraging and disappointing I was able to have a few hours today of pure joy! 

No matter what life throws at me there are always a handful of people that always put a smile on my face...my favourite people...my extended family...specifically for today my Auntie Danielle, Uncle Arlyn, Nevaeh, Aiden, and Trae and my Grandma and Grandpa Janzen.

There is nothing like laughing with Nevaeh to the point where tears roll down our faces.  There is nothing like cuddling with Trae for hours.  There is nothing like snuggling with Aiden while he's still trying to wake up from his nap.  There just is nothing like being with three of my favourite kids.  It makes my heart full...no matter what else is going on in life. 

There is nothing like knowing my cousins KNOW me...  There is nothing like seeing the joy on their faces when someone they look up to and love spends time with them.  There is nothing like experiencing the milestones of a 3 month old.  There is nothing like being close to family.  There is nothing like having a friend in my aunt and uncle.  There is nothing like visiting with my grandparents.  There just isn't anything to compare it to.  It's the best thing in the world. 

For a moment today I was able to forget the stress.  I was able to forget the frustration the week held.  For awhile I was able to put it all in the back of my mind as I spent the day with those I love. 

Though I'm still feeling stressed and though it still seems like everything I've been working on is falling apart before my eyes, seeing my family today filled me up.  I feel full...  Full of love, laugher, smiles, and memories of a better day...

My Book!!

This is what I have been working on for just under a month...

Stand Firm by Breanna Janzen

Make Your Own Book

 
I found "Blurb" really easy to work with and I like that I was able to customize my pages!!  My dad's parents don't have internet, so I thought it would be nice to put together a hard copy of my blog so they can read it!  I may just have to do this every year!  :)

His Ways Are Higher...

Two posts ago I wrote a post about the frailty of life.

My great uncle is doing so much better!  It truly is a miracle!  Last I heard was that today he was going to be moved from the ICU to the Step Down Unit!  He has went from almost not surviving to doing so well in a week!  All praise to Jesus for his progress and healing!

Yet despite how well Uncle Garth is doing, today I was once again reminded of how fragile life is...

My dad called me this afternoon to see if I could babysit for a family who urgently needed help...a close family member had a heart attack and passed away.  Ever since that phone call I've been thinking about how that could have been us...we could have been the ones trying to organize a funeral, but we aren't.  We could have been the ones in pain, but we aren't.  For some reason my great uncle is getting better, but their loved one is gone.  How can I sit back and be joyful about what's going on in my family when another family is hurting so much?  How can I be thankful when there are 7 kids in deep pain...  How? 

I don't understand why things happen the way they do.  I don't know why some families seem to have things so easy while others go through heart breaking things time after time again.  I don't have the capicity to understand God's plan.  Like it says in the Bible "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV)

God knows exactly what He is doing.  I will not ever understand His plan, but everything happens for His honor and glory.  In life, and in death.  In sickness, and in health.  In times of peace, and times of war.  In times of famine, and in times of plenty.  God will work everything according to His divine plan.  Because of sin in the world death, sickness, war, and famine will all happen.  BUT, because God is God and has already won victory even the worst of the worst can be turned around to bring people to Him...and that is the most important thing! 

This and That

Well...

IT'S LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKE A TRIP OUT EAST IS ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!

My friend and I were figuring out dates and such tonight...we just need the okay from her program director and I'll be headed out east!!  I actually can't believe it's all coming together like it is!  And so fast too! 

Now, only if my school work came together the way this trip is!  Haha!  I have sent in one of my two assignments for the week... I had hoped to have them both sent in already but unfortuanately I really strained an old hand injury when I was painting on Monday and so writing for long periods of time is extremely painful and my hand starts to shake from the pain!  :(  I'm getting there though, and by the end of the week (I mean by Sunday...) I am determined to have everything done that I've told myself I must do!

And for an update on my Great Uncle... He is doing so much better!  Praise the Lord!  It truly is a miracle!  From my understanding he is completely off the bypass machine now and they have closed him up!  He was also taken off of two meds last night!  From being in a place where his heart wasn't functioning to a place where it now is is amazing!  I am so thankful he is doing as well as he is!  He's still in critical condition, and has a long way to go, but the doctors all have confidence he will come out fine! 

Frailty of Life

Life is so fragile, so frail.  Often as humans we go through life thinking we are invincible...nothing bad will ever happen to us.  We hear story after story about how this person and that person has suffered.  Whether sickness, abuse, famine, you name it.  But we never think something would ever touch us...or the lives of those we love.  We go through every day planning for tomorrow without stopping to think about what would happen if tomorrow didn't come. 

Yesterday my mom called me while I was at work.  She told me to pray for my great uncle who had just had a heart attack.  I was taken by surprise.  Uncle Garth had a heart attack!?  No way!  I was stunned. 

It wasn't until later in the day that I found out what happened.  He was in Africa doing missions work, like he so often does.  The plane landed in their home city, and only 45 minutes later there he was the victim of a horrific heart attack.  Things ended up being way worse than we ever could have expected when we first found out, and the last word I heard was that his heart wasn't working on it's own and after an extremely long heart surgery was still on the bypass machine... 

45 minutes before this all happened I'm sure he was excited about being home.  I'm sure he was thinking about seeing his children and grandchildren in the days ahead, eager to tell them about his trip.  I'm sure he was thinking about everything he would have to get back to now that he was no longer in another country.  But everything changed...and all who know and love him are praying for a miracle.  Praying for his heart to function on it's own.  Praying for God's divine intervention.

It's scary to think about how fast everything can change.  How in an instant something could happen that could impact your life forever.  How often do we sit back and enjoy the day we've been given?  How often do we go through a day and think about tomorrow instead?  How often do we tell those we love and cherish what they mean to us?  Or, how often do we take them for granted? 

I'm guilty of everything I've just written.  I go through my days anticipating tomorrow instead of taking in every moment of today.  There is a place for anticipation (like my trip out east or seeing friends and family...) but how often do I put that anticipation in the place of today and over look the now?  Lots.  I am also very guilty of not letting those I love and care about know with either word or action that they mean so much to me.  I think about them so often, yet I don't know if they actually know it.  Ever since my great grandpa died I've been working on getting better at this, but I know I still have a long way to go...and I'm sure I'll be working at it until the day I die. 

So, those of you who read my blog that I know in real life...whether friend or family...Thank YOU for being you.  Thank you for being in my life.  Thank you for the joy you have brought to me.  Thank you for your words of wisdom, impartation, inspiration, and correction.  Thank you for everything.  I love you all dearly!

One of my favourite quotes in my friendship flip calendar says "Some people are so special that once they enter your life it becomes richer and fuller and more wonderful than you ever thought it could be."

Thank you all for being those people in my life!

Motivation

Distance schooling is HARD work!  When I signed up for it I didn't expect it to be nearly as time consuming as it is!  I homeschooled for a few years, so I figured distance university would be similar, but no it is not!  The more time I spend doing my school work, the more I find myself missing the classroom setting where the professors do all the material condensing and tell the students what they need to know and what they don't!  I guess the whole process of reading, trying to understand, filling out worksheets, answering questions, and so on is good for me though! 

With all that said, I admit I am really behind in my courses.  Well, I guess not "really", though it feels like it.  Technically I have until the end of April to finish, which means as of yesterday I should be half finished my courses.  I am close to being half finished math, as well as my health class.  I'm pretty behind in my basic biology course, and my anatomy course is far from my mind right now.  I have until the end of October to finish that one, so I'm not working on it until after April...  I am so glad I decided not to do my second semester of school right now!

So, seeing that I'm so behind in school I decided a little motivation might just be what I need to put the pressure on me to get it done! 

Fast forward about 1-2 weeks... I was thinking to myself that I need to go on vacation.  That is an odd thing for me, especially since I JUST was away a month ago!  Nevertheless, I was talking to my mom and I told her that I thought I needed to go somewhere green (it is beyond white here!  I'm more than ready for spring to arrive!) Then mid last week my friend who's in Ontario out of the blue told me I should come visit her...  That was very unexpected...I don't think she has EVER said I should visit her there...Usually if we are going to get together it's when she's in Calgary.  Then, no joke, on Sunday I was talking to my best friend and she said I should go visit her in New York!  Crazy! 

Coincidence, or not (I personally think not...) these three moments really got me thinking.  Really, there is no better time for me to go than now.  If I wait, it may turn out that I would never get the opportunity to go out east.  I have never been as available to just pick up and go somewhere as I currently am, and if I get into nursing in the fall, it will be years before I will be able to again...and even then I'll have a "real" job to try to work my schedule around.  All that being said, I made a bargain in my head...IF I can get done my two Math TMA's (teacher marked assignments), schedule my midterm, write my health paper, and possibly schedule that midterm ALL before the end of the week I will reward myself with an early birthday gift and go out east to visit my friends...

So, with that as my motivation I BETTER get it all done this week!  Because I'll be sad if I don't, but even then (and really, I shouldn't even let myself think this way...) I'm sure I'll break down and go anyway. 

But, I'm not really going to think like that because I need to get my school done...  So basically I'm going to be doing nothing but school for the rest of the week... I figure if I work non-stop from sun up until sun down tomorrow I should be good to go for the math...I hope!! 

I'm going to make this trip work...if it's the last thing I do!  I just can't help but think that there may be a God appointed reason for why this is all coming together the way it is... Karissa has been on my heart and mind pretty much non-stop lately.  I just can't shake the feeling that God has so much more for her and that soon she'll 'wake' up to it.  So to see her after it's been over a year would be amazing!  And to see Kim at LIFT...that would be awesome!  The weird thing is that almost every single aspect of LIFT that I've heard about, or seen on their website (except all the outdoor activities) is EXACTLY what my dad had wanted to do with ID...  Everything about it.  It's honestly like ID in the USA...only it was given a chance to grow, and is now thriving.  It was encouraged instead of smothered.  So coming from that angle, to be able to see first hand just what the setting is like there and to maybe somewhat see how it's run would be pretty neat.  I have a feeling I'd feel at home there!  And seeing Kim is seeing my best friend...need I say more?!  That would be a blast!!!!!!

So MOTIVATION!!!  Time for bed so I can have an early start to my math day!  Math and tea...that'll be my day!

Testing...*UPDATED*

I think I have it all figured out now.  For now I'm going to stick with this new "Intense Debate" commenting system.  It would be nice if Blogger added a reply feature to their own commenting system...

Let me know what you think of this new system.  I personally am finding it a little bit more complicated to sign in...I guess it will take some time to get used to!  At least I have a reply option now!!