Break the Cycle - In Memory of a Friend

Warning:  This post will not be an easy post to read, but I believe it must be written, read, and shared.

About a year and a half ago now, one of my sister's closest childhood friends committed suicide.

Even writing those words...word's I've tried not to think or speak...bring tears to my eyes and an ache in my heart.

A young, twenty-something girl gone in an instant.  Her entire life ahead of her.  Gone.  Because of hopelessness.

So many times since that day I wondered if there was anything I could've done to change the outcome of her life.  Obviously I know everyone has their own choices to make.  I don't have the ability to 'play God,' and nobody is responsible for another's actions.  BUT, could I have lived my life differently in the way I interacted with her?  Could I have somehow spoken something, done something, to plant a seed of God's hope and truth within her?  Something that in her desperate hour she would've remembered and turned to God instead of ending her life?

When someone's been in your life, and spent hours upon hours at your house, it's hard not to ask those questions.

Unfortunately, for my sister's friend, there isn't a second chance.  There isn't a way for me to intentionally speak life into her heart.  BUT, for many, many others, I still have that opportunity.

One thing I've been recognizing on a greater scale is our generation's tendency to take people for granted.  I had a conversation a couple weeks ago regarding the talent of a mutual friend...how we didn't realize how talented this other friend was until we stepped back and listened to someone else perform.

That short 2 minute conversation totally changed my perspective on the people in my life.

How often do I take the people in my life for granted?  How often do I expect them to just be there when I need them?  How many times do I notice the familiar things about them and deliberately call them out...speak life into their talents, abilities, and dreams?  How often do I tell them how valued they are to me?

More often, I find myself going day in and day out just 'expecting'.  Having an expectation because I know them so well.  How often do things go unsaid because I expect to talk to them later.  I expect to see them again.

How often do I spend my time focused on my life and the busyness of trying to accomplish everything this society 'expects' me to do?  How often do I focus on my issues, problems, hurts, and fears instead of taking time to recognize the world does not revolve around me?

How often do I stop in the midst of everything around me just to love?  Just to care?  Just to speak life, hope, and the truth of God into the hearts of those around me?

Truthfully, not enough.

See, sometimes I think about the "what ifs."  What if I never had a chance to talk to that family member or friend again?  What if something happened to them?  Would I have taken the time out of my day to show how valuable they are to me?  What if something happened and I got sick and could no longer live my life like I always have?  Or, what if something happened and I died tomorrow?  Would those I love wish they would've taken the time to do the same to me, and show me they value me?

We aren't promised tomorrow.  We aren't even promised the next second or the next breath.  ALL we have is now.

So, why are we holding out?  Why are we letting the things of this life hinder us from truly valuing, loving, and caring for those in our lives?  Why do we get so caught up in the 'expectations'?  Of expecting that we'll have another opportunity.

I didn't have another opportunity with my sister's friend.  I let life and years get in the way.  I'm guilty of everything I just wrote.

But, thanks to God's grace, we can start now.  Now, with this only moment we have for sure.  We can begin to change the way our generation views the people in their lives.  We can begin to be intentional about living a lifestyle where we choose to show the people in our lives that they matter, instead of expecting them to somehow know it.  We can be the ones who begin to call out the gold and beauty in the lives around us.  We can be the ones to shine the love of Jesus everywhere we go.

In memory of my sister's friend, let's choose to break the mould of this generation and stop taking the people in our life for granted.  Because they may not be there tomorrow.

One Last Stand

Over the past few weeks the phrase "one last stand" has been going through my mind over and over again.

I'm not sure why I feel led to write a post on this, but maybe it's for someone who will stumble across my blog, maybe it's a step of faith for the situations in my life, or maybe it's both.

A few years ago I heard a message about the enemy's one last stand.  It was from Mark 9, about when Jesus healed a demon possessed boy.

For those who don't know the story, a man brought his demon possessed son to Jesus' disciples to drive the demon out.  The demons would throw the boy to the ground, cause him to foam at the mouth, and gnash his teeth.  It would be a horrific sight and experience.

Jesus stepped into the chaos of the situation, and when the demon saw Jesus it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion, rolling on the ground and foaming at the mouth.

Read Mark 9:14-29 for the entire story.

What has been rolling around in my head over the past few weeks is the fact that when the demon saw Jesus, it knew exactly who Jesus is and that Jesus has the power and authority to drive it out.  So, to cause one last distraction, one last scene, one last bit of chaos, it threw the boy into a convulsion.

If you read on in the story, Jesus commanded the the demon to come out of the boy, and with the final bout of convulsions, it came out.

Sometimes I've wondered why after praying, and praying, and praying some more.  And after tears, and more praying, why do some situations appear to be worse than before?

Why, when praying for friends and family members who are far from God, does it seem like my prayers only make the situation worse?

Could it be that as I/we pray the enemy is getting scared because he knows exactly who Jesus is and knows that when Jesus enters the situation he must leave?  I believe this is true.

The more we pray and intercede, the harder satan is going to try to pull those we are praying for away.  BUT, that does not mean that we stop praying.  Instead, it means we just have to continue praying and interceding.  Because Jesus already has the victory, as we intercede on behalf of those we love, He is working.  And, the craziest thing I've been realizing lately is the reality that even in the midst of when satan is trying his hardest to keep people living in sin, his plan ultimately will backfire in his face.  Though he is working overtime, the truth of Jesus and the light of His word will expose the darkness.  And, when breakthrough comes, the very areas satan tried to destroy someone in becomes an increased testimony to people they would have never been able to reach in the same way before.

I hope that makes sense.

So, when discouragement comes and you feel like things are just getting worse, have hope.  Jesus IS working.  The enemy is terrified out of his mind.  He knows who Jesus is.  He knows EXACTLY who Jesus is.  Jesus already beat sin, death, and hell.

I'm going to keep on praying.  Keep on believing that what I see right now is one last stand.  I'm trusting God for breakthrough.  And I can't wait to hear the testimony of God's faithfulness and goodness!  And I know one day I'll hear the words from their lips "It (every prayer) was worth it."  Amen.

Embrace Today

The past couple weeks have left me in a somber mood as I realize that due to the quick passing of time, April is here once again and I'm reminded of the tragic events that occurred last year in the lives  of too many people I know.

I'm reminded once again of how short life is, and how important it is to embrace today.

I'm reminded to not live paralyzed with fear, or to be hesitant in situations that you want resolved.  Rather, I've become passionate about living in the freedom of Christ, and in desiring that for those around me.  I've become convinced that we truly should not put off something we could do today for another day.

See, life is too short, too fragile to take for granted.  The relationships in our lives are too important to sit back and watch them crumble around us.  People are too valuable to not show them appreciation and love.  Because, one day you just may turn around and they'll be gone.

So, embrace today.  Tell those you love how valued they are.  Do something special for someone you've unintentionally taken advantage of.  Go out of your way to impart hope to someone discouraged.  Hug your family and friends a little tighter.  But don't just do it today.  Make it your lifestyle.  Because the only guarantee we have is the moment we are living in.  So, make it count!  Don't let this moment pass you by!

Revealing Truth, Exposing Lies

Every year as the new year approaches, I ask the Lord for a word or theme to bring into the next year.  The theme God has given me for 2016 is different than prior years in that He took what He was teaching me through a difficult season of life and shaped it into five words for me to believe for this year:  Revealing truth and exposing lies.

I'm beginning to see that this isn't a word that is solely for me, but rather it is His heart for His people.

The end of 2015 left me with an identity crisis.  I knew who God created me to be, but I lost all ability to function in who I am.  I second guessed absolutely everything I did in how I related to others.  I shut down, I quit communicating, I avoided situations I once felt comfortable in.  I felt like being who God designed me to be wasn't 'good enough'.  I felt like an annoyance and a burden to those around me.  I was trapped because I knew what God has called me to do and who He wants me to be, but I couldn't shake the thoughts plaguing me that told me that it just wasn't enough.  Lies.

This struggle isn't unique to me.  God has opened my eyes recently to see that this struggle is plaguing so many.  It's a tactic of the enemy to undermine our ability to walk freely in the plan of Christ for our lives.  The approach he uses may be different, but the method is the same...attack their identity...attack their thoughts...so that they no longer have the confidence to rise high as the Sons and Daughters of God Almighty that they are.  This is a massive problem that must be addressed, and it's why I feel that God is calling us, His body, to be intentional about seeking the Lord to reveal truth and expose lies.

As I've walked through this journey over the past while, God has been so faithful to teach me more about who He is.  I've learned how important it is to continually keep my eyes on Jesus and when waves of thoughts begin to take me in a downward spiral of negativity, there is incredible power in choosing to worship Him instead.  He's been faithful to constantly remind me to choose love and forgiveness, despite not knowing what or who the source of the pain was.  He's encouraged me in the moments where I have felt so frustrated in how long the healing process of this journey is, and He's reminded me that in the baby steps, He is building a solid foundation that can't be shaken the same when the enemy tries the same tactic in my life again.

Just as the Lord has been faithful to reveal to me the uniqueness of who I am and how He designed and created me exactly the way He wanted me to be...perfectly because He can only create perfectly, He is faithful to us all.  Not one is forgotten.

The enemy would try to take us off course by seeking to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), and he does so by lying to us.  However, Jesus came to give us abundantly full life and that directly combats the enemy as He speaks and reveals His truth to us.  The truth about how He loves us and created us.  The truth about how we are created in His image.  The truth that we are His sons and daughters.  And ultimately, the truth that He has already won the victory and all glory belongs to Him!

And, here's a secret God has shared with me in the process (one that puts a massive smile on my face and quenches my desire for revenge): By attacking us with lies, the enemy thinks he's winning, HOWEVER, as we counter his tactics with the truth of Christ, his plan actually backfires on him because as we walk in Truth testimony is written.  And testimony touches even more lives for the Kingdom of God than if we hadn't gone through the fire!  How awesome is that!!!  So, the next time the enemy tries to throw a lie at you, laugh in his face as you fix your eyes upon Jesus and know that by choosing truth, God is writing a testimony upon your life that will impact others around you for the rest of your life!  

Finally, to close, I'll leave you with a scene description from The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 2 as it is a clear picture of what I just shared: *Spoiler alert for those who have not watched it

Background: Peeta had been tortured in the Capital and as a result his mind had been programmed to believe things about Katniss that were not true.  Fast forward to when he arrives to be part of Katniss's army unit.

So, Peeta shows up and all he wants to do is kill Katniss, because that's what's been programmed into his mind as he believes she is responsible for so many terrible things that have happened.  But, as Katniss chooses to take night watch, Peeta begins to open up.  He tells her how there are so many things in his mind that aren't clear and he doesn't know what is real or not.  He begins to ask her a series of questions and after each one he asks "True or not true?"  To which Katniss responds.  As Peeta begins to have a clearer understanding of what is true of Katniss, and also of him, the bitterness, anger, and hatred he has for her dissolves with each truth that is exposed.  Ultimately the barrier is completely broken down and there is a mutual trust that bonds them once again.

As I thought about this when I woke up this morning, I thought how that is such an incredible picture of the power of truth.  See, when we are living in a haze of lies, it's hard in our own strength to distinguish between what is real and what isn't.  We need to be like Peeta and be willing to admit we are in a haze and ask God to reveal to us who we are, who He is, and who the people around us are.  We need to be vulnerable.  As we are, and as God shows us the truth piece by piece, the barriers holding us back from being fully alive in Christ begin to break down and we will be free to boldly live out the life He purposed for us.  There will also be freedom in relationships with others because we will see them for who God created them to be...no more lies.  Just truth.  And that terrifies the enemy because we are an army for Christ.  So, stand firm and keep your eyes upon Jesus!