Open Up, Breathe In, And Let God Do His Thing

"Take a deep breath.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Breathe in again.  I am healed!  Really, truly 100% healed!"

Those were the words running around in my head a little over a year ago that brought a giant smile to my face.  God is SOOO good!

Fast forward to Fall 2010.  I had just moved to Saskatchewan from BC.  Only a few short weeks after arriving, I started having trouble breathing.  At first I didn't realize what the cause may be, so I just pushed through it, while struggling with bouts of shortness of breath.  2011 rolled around, and the same thing happened.  I put two and two together and realized it was a result of the harvest season.  Despite the fact that my allergies were slightly worse than the year before, I pushed through again.  And again in 2012.  By 2013, dealing with breathing issues during harvest time had become the norm for me.  But, each year I struggled more and more.  It got to the point where I knew I couldn't push through it anymore and so I would have to give in and go to the doctor for medical intervention...something I had been avoiding as I did not want to be bothered with having an inhaler.

BUT, God is good, and like so many times in my life, when I thought I had reached my breaking point He intervened.

A few months prior I had met a friend who encouraged me to get involved in a community group at my church.  I started getting involved, and as a result I got connected with a small handful of people who I was learning to trust and be real with.  Without that, I would not have been so open and vulnerable to share anything with them.  I'm a reserved type of person who generally keeps everything to myself.  Everything.  But, with the help and encouragement of my newfound friends, I began to slowly open up.  I got to the point where I felt free to start sharing my life with them, and therefore I was able to share about my struggle to simply just breathe.

I'll never forget the day I opened up.  Up until that point only my family knew of my struggle, and there was no way I wanted anyone else to find out.  As I opened up, my friend K prayed for me.  Honestly, it was a simple prayer, not much different from the many prayers my parents had prayed with me over the years.  Yet, despite the fact that I didn't feel something initially, I was touched by her willingness to pray, and through it all God did something incredible.

It wasn't until a few days later when I went on an elliptical.  I had been on it the day before K prayed for me, and I had to go as slow as I possibly could and my lungs still burned.  I didn't want to let my shortness of breath keep me from being active, so I had resolved to go on it no matter how slow I had to go.  So, back on it I went.  I had my music going and was walking along when I suddenly realized that my numbers were way better than a few days prior.  My lungs didn't hurt either.  The next song that came on was "God's Great Dance Floor" by Chris Tomlin, and I began to run faster and faster.  A smile filled my face as I sang, or more like shouted, "I feel alive, I come alive, I am alive on God's great dance floor."  Another song I happened to be listening to says "I have life.  I can breathe.  I am healed.  I am free" (Here's My Heart by David Crowder).  I truly was alive.  There was breath in my lungs.  I could breathe!  I was free!  I could enjoy life without struggling for my next breath, without being afraid of being tied to medication for the rest of my life.  I ran as fast as I could, marvelling in the goodness of God!  He healed me!

Here I am a year after that momentous day, and recently I realized that I've hit the one year mark without any pain or shortness of breath.  I've made it through this years harvest season without a single breathing struggle.  God is good!  SOO good!

Recently, God did another healing miracle in my life, and reflecting on this day has shown me a lot of parallels with my heart both then and now.  I know God heals.  I've known that my entire life, and I've seen too much to not believe.  Yet, like most, sometimes I wonder why I can ask for something in prayer and God doesn't seem to be answering.  Why did my parents and myself pray over and over again for breath to come easily to me, but those prayers didn't seem to be answered?  Why did my parents and myself once again pray for healing for concussion symptoms I had in August, and again they were not answered?  And why did I happen to be prayed for by the same friend both times and I was instantly healed?  God does not show favouritism, so it has nothing to do with me, or my parents, or my friend.

I've come to the realization about the importance of community and about the condition of the heart.  God brings people in our lives for various reasons, and we have to be open to receiving that.  I know I've failed a lot in that area, with August being the a huge eyeopener to the reality that while I may try to build walls to prevent others from coming in or to protect myself from getting hurt, if God has brought someone into my life I better just accept that and not resist.  See, last year when I finally opened myself up and reached a place where I could be vulnerable with others, that's when pride fell and God was able to minister the way He intended to all along...there weren't walls up trying to control how He could work in my life.  I was open.  Again, in August, I had to reach a point of opening up to my friend and break down the walls I was trying to build to prevent me from getting hurt.  It was only when I opened up that once again I gave up control to allow God to use the people in my life to be extensions of His love, healing, and grace to me.  Every single person on the planet has people put in place in their life because God put them there.  That's what community is.  My friend in both of these instances, as well as all the other friends God has brought into my life are there on purpose.  They are not in my life by accident.  God put them there because He knew I needed what they bring to my life.  I have to choose to remain open to that reality, and as a result, God is able to use the giftings that He has given to each one of them to the fullest, and the same is for me in the lives God has put me in.  We all need each other.  To quote another song that has been impacting me lately "Through trouble, rain, or fire let’s reach out to something higher.  Ain’t no life outside each other.  We are not alone...we're not meant to live this life alone" (No Man Is An Island by Tenth Avenue North).   

Immeasurably More

As December is rolling on by and the year is coming to an end, I have been reflecting on all that 2013 has held.

It all started on January 1.  New Years Day.

I was taking part in the Passion 2013 conference via live streaming.  In the first session, Louie Giglio kept bringing up the phrase "immeasurably more" from Ephesians 3:10 which says "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us..."

He continued to expand on the verse, and started talking about people who want to believe that God can do immeasurably more, but are struggling because they aren't seeing it in their life.  He then went on to talk about the valley of dry bones in Ezekiel 37 and how Ezekiel responded to God's question by saying "Sovereign Lord, You alone know."

I started out the year being one of those people who wanted desperately to believe that God would do immeasurably more in my life and in situations I was facing, and I had to blindly trust God and say "You alone know."  And only He knew what He had in store for the year.

Fast forward to May.  Life was at it had always been over the past number of years.  Honestly, I had gotten to the point where I was fed up with certain situations and had stopped believing for specific prayers to be answered.  There was one prayer in particular that I had prayed and been trusting God for since I was in grade 7, but after so many years of praying without an answer, I gave up.

In May, I decided to go a Holy Spirit night at my church, which was the first time I had gone in the 2.5 years of living here.  I don't even know why, but I just felt that I had to be there.  Without knowing it, God was about to do immeasurably more in my life.

That night I met someone who was new to my church.  We became fast friends, and God has used her to minister to my life as her encouragement has brought healing to my heart, and I finally have become more connected in my church and have met some amazing friends in the process!

On January 1, I could have never imagined that in hearing the words "immeasurably more" that it would become the core theme of my year.  But they have.  God has done so much more than I could've ever imagined!  In becoming free, God has brought physical, emotional, and spiritual healing in my life.  I am continuously amazed at how a prayer I had given up on believing for was answered.

If there is one thing I learned this year it is to never underestimate what God wants to do in and through a life.  Sometimes it is easy to get discouraged and give up on something, but God is always there and desires to do so much more...immeasurably more.

2013 turned out to be a year that exceeded any expectations I had for it.  God is so good!  I am blessed, and thankful, for all He has done in my life over this past year, and I look forward to what is in store in 2014.  To Him be the glory!

The Most Important Thing (Part 2)

I've finally had time to sit down to finish part 2 of "The Most Important Thing."  If you haven't read part 1 yet, you can find it here.


While on my holiday, God began to speak to me about some of the questions I've recently had.  For the first time it became so clear to me that one of the reasons why people have chosen to go the way of the world, despite knowing the truth of God's word, is because of a lack of relationship.

As I pondered the concept of relationships, I began to think about earthly relationships and compare them with what God desires of us.

I think most would agree with me that in order to build a solid relationship it is necessary to spend time with one another.  It's in times that you talk, hang out, and enjoy one another's company that you really get to know someone.  In my experience, and I'm sure others can relate, I've found that it is difficult to build or grow a friendship by talking to someone once every few months only for a couple minutes.  In those cases, the relationship maintains an 'acquaintance' classification, and rarely will that relationship form into a strong friendship.

If this is the case with earthly relationships, why do we expect our relationship with God to be any different?  Why do we expect to grow in our walk with Him if all we do is go to church once a week, and that's only when we aren't too busy to go.  We may say the odd prayer before our meals so that we feel as though we did our Christian duty.  Why do we focus so much time and attention on getting to know people around us and rarely spend time getting to know the very One who created us?

This is the revelation I began to see as I was seeking God as to why so many people know about Him, but aren't living for Him.

It's like having an acquaintance.  I may know who someone is, and I might know a few details about their personality or character, but when it comes to their heart, I don't really know them.  God used this analogy to show me that in society today so many people have this type of acquaintance relationship with Him.  So many know about Him, but they don't KNOW Him.

I hope my explanation makes sense.  It was a huge revelation to me when this all started coming together for me.

So, if we want to grow in our walk with God we need to spend time with Him, building our relationship with Him.  We need to spend time in prayer, talking to Him.  We need to take time to read our Bible, learning about His character.  We need to spend time listening for His voice.  We need to spend time with other Christians, being encouraged in love.

As we spend time building our relationship with Jesus, and encouraging others to do the same, I believe God will be faithful and we will see a change in the relational apathy I've seen around me.  As each Christian chooses to grow in their relationship with God, the casualties in the church will decrease.

The most important thing on the earth, which is the very purpose we were created for, is to lift up the name of Jesus and see lives transformed by His saving power.  This will only happen as we have relationship with Jesus and then show others how they can as well.

The Most Important Thing (Part 1)

It has been forever since I have written a blog post.  I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past year, but wasn't sure how to put words to what was going on inside of me.  The time has finally come to attempt to release those thoughts.

A couple weeks ago I was at a grad banquet for the Master's Commission program at my church.  At one point in the program the pastor who overseas the program made a statement that gripped my heart.  He said that people are the only things we will be able to take to heaven with us.  When we die, we won't bring any material things with us.  All our "stuff" will be left behind.  The only thing that has any value and significance for eternity is the soul.  Therefore, the most important thing in the world is not what job we have or how well off we are, but rather it is the souls around us...the lives that we touch.

Over the past few years my heart has become so broken for the lost.  I've always had a missions heart, but circumstances in my life has led to an increase in the brokenness and urgency that my heart has for those who don't have a relationship with Jesus.

I took a small vacation over the past weekend to visit some dear friends, and during my drive I heard a song that I've heard many times before, but a line jumped out to me as I listened to it:  "If not us, who will be like Jesus to the least of these?"

When I think about everything that's been going on inside of me over the past number of months and mix that with the two statements I have heard recently, I realized I can no longer be silent in my pondering...because truly, "if not us, who will be like Jesus to the least of these?"

I have a huge passion for my generation.  As I've gone from my high school days, to working, and now going to university, I have seen so many struggle in their faith.  I've seen the ways of society come in and distract people I love from living out their full identity in Christ, and all along the way my heart has cried out why.  Why are so many walking away from living sold out for Jesus?  What causes people to give in to things that they know in their hearts are not the way to true life?  I've asked all the questions, and struggled with knowing why this is such a problem in our society, and have wondered what I can possibly do to stop it.  It's been a journey that I've been struggling on because my heart aches to see my generation...and especially those I know and love...living 100% for Jesus.  That's my heart's cry.

This post is quickly becoming a novel, so I will write part two about what God spoke to me about the questions I've just written.  Stay tuned!

Something To Listen To :)

I've been listening to a 4 part message series called "Prodigals" that Louie Giglio spoke at Passion City Church.  It has been an encouragement, and has given me a lot to think about, so I thought I would share the link with all of you!  :)

Part 1 - Surprise
Part 2 - The Power of Here and Now
Part 3 - Speech Interrupted
Part 4 - A Who God In A Do World

Hope

"Can you hear the sound?
His Spirit calling out

These bones are gonna rise
These bones will live again
These bones are gonna rise, gonna rise
These bones will live again"


I just heard this Phillips, Craig, and Dean song (These Bones) for the first time.  Hope is the only word I can think of to describe the feeling I feel right now.  It reminds me of the Valley of Dry Bones in Ezekiel 37.  Right now there may seem to be a valley of dry bones around me.  The truth is that God is saying "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.  I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’" (Ezekiel 37:4-6)

"These bones are gonna rise.  These bones will live again."  I can hear it...I hear the rattling of an army awakening...

It's Who I Am

Ever since the summer I've had a few thoughts rolling around in my head.  I guess it's time to get them written down...

Months ago I had a dream.  In the dream I was talking to my mom about moving back to Kamloops.  My mom was trying to convince me to stay here, but I told her "Kamloops needs Jesus just as much as the people here do."  In other words, the need to know the truth of God's love is as great there as it is here.

That dream really impacted me.  It reminded me of how much compassion I have for the lost, and how much I want to see them saved.  It doesn't matter if it's here, or there; whether I'm overseas or in Canada.  Everywhere around me there are people who need the Lord.

In the summer God really tugged at my heart as I was finishing up my last couple months at work.  I had a deep desire to finish well.  It wasn't that I didn't have the desire to make an impact before, it's that as my final day of work drew closer I realized just how much work needed to be done.  I realized that there were parts of my time there where I was too wrapped up in things going on in my own life that I didn't take the time I should have to pray for and love my co-workers.  There were moments where it was just a job, but this summer I realized that God has called me to more than that.  He's called me to be a missionary.  To spread His light wherever I go.

I've always had a desire to tell others about Jesus' love.  And for years I've known that's what my 'calling' is.  To be a missionary.  To go overseas on short missions trips, and come home to work so I can go back on another short mission trip.  This summer though I began to realize even deeper that missions is so much more than going overseas.  It's more than spending time with little Guatemalan children telling stories, and doing skits to show them that Dios es amor.  (God is love.)  Missions isn't just about travelling from one place to the next.  Missions is about spreading the mission of Christ...to seek and save the lost.  (Luke 19:10)  Missions is about who the 'missionary' is.  It's who I am.  It's not where I live that makes me a missionary.  It's the light of Jesus shining through me that makes me one.

And as I was reminded in my dream...Canada needs Jesus just as much as Guatemala.  And since I live here, it makes sense for me to be who I am and be faithful to the call Jesus has given me.

As one of my favourite children's videos, The Donut Man, says, "How can we wait until tomorrow, they're lost in sin and sorrow.  We love, and pray, and give so they might live in Jesus."