Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
~1 Corinthians 15:58 (NIV)
Exhaustion is beginning to set in. It's been a long school/life/work marathon I've been running recently. I'm starting to look forward to taking a break from school and going out into the "real world" for a year. Yes...a year.
After a lot of prayer, tears, and believing that God would help me decide what to do about schooling I have made a decision to stay here. I can't get into school for this fall...so I'll be working for a year before I get into nursing. It's another big change that has come my way, but I'm excited about this "new" journey God is taking me on.
It was hard to decide between going back to BC or staying here but when it came down to it I feel right about the decision I made. This is home now. For the first time in 9 years I don't have anything inside that is tearing me apart because I want to be there instead of here. For the first time in 9 years I feel 100% content.
So staying it is.
Coming to this decision has only added to the marathon I've been running...one that's almost over...for now!
I had an amazing Easter weekend which helped take my mind off of the stress of school! But now it's back to the grind of things! I had my first final today...two more to go along with 4 more assignments... :(
Well, time to quit blogging for now...I'm calling it an early bedtime tonight so I can get back to being fully awake so I can finish my assignments tomorrow!
Usually...the flowers are blooming...the grass is turning green...the birds are singing. It's a time of year where reminders of life are everywhere. What once appeared to be dead and dormant is now beginning to shine.
The statement on my calendar for March says:
"After the winter comes the spring to show us that in everything there's always renewal divinely planned - flawlessly perfect, the work of God's hand." Helen Steiner Rice
This statement is so true. Not only in the physical sense of spring, but also in the sprititual sense of spring.
A little over 2000 years ago Jesus went to the cross...for you...for me. He came to bring life. He came to bring renewal. He came to bring hope. Jesus was born after years and years (I can't think of the number off the top of my head) of silence... That time probably felt like winter to the people of Israel. I'm sure they were wondering where God was, and why things were so silent. Yet, in God's timing He sent His Son Jesus into the world, to bring redemption to all mankind.
He endured the pain and suffering you and I deserve because of our sinful nature. He took it all upon His shoulders to bring us freedom. To bring us eternal life...if we choose to accept Him.
That's what this season is about.
The amazing thing though is that the story doesn't end there.
Jesus died upon the cross on what we now celebrate as Good Friday. On what we celebrate as Easter Sunday Jesus arose from the grave!! He beat death for eternity! He brought hope to what appeared hopeless! He brought life everlasting!
This Easter, like every other Easter, I'm celebrating the life, death, and resurrection of my Lord Jesus Christ! Easter is always an exciting time of year for me! Though I celebrate His life, death, and resurrection all year round, Easter is always a reminder that all around the world people are coming together in thanking Him for what He did for all of us.
As I celebrate this Easter I'm reminded of what He's blessed me with throughout this past year. As I have written about so many times over the past month or so, I've been really busy with school...but leading up to this weekend I've had a lot of blessings that have helped me get through the stress of school.
The first thing was meeting my best friend Kim at the airport on Thursday. I hadn't seen her in 4 months and so seeing her for the brief minutes I saw her for was amazing! I was reminded of the season of winter I went through in various friendships and how God has taken that winter and is beginning to grow something new in my life as I experience "spring". God has used Kim, and all my other new friends, to show me that in His timing, spring does arrive...no matter how long or hard winter was.
The second thing this weekend has held is the priviledge of seeing a lot of my extended family. For years I've wanted to live closer to my cousins. I always wanted to be able to "watch" them grow up...as in experience things with them that I couldn't because I lived hours away. Last night I babysat my three youngest cousins...something I always dreamed of but never imagined would be possible. This weekend will go on record as one with the most extended family at my house...other then when we celebrated my grandma's 65th birthday. I've seen both sets of grandparents, one aunt, two uncles, and four cousins!
This weekends been great! There's so much to be thankful for! Thank You Jesus for everything You have done for me! There aren't words to accurately describe how I feel right now...
I know this post is already long, but there is a song I want to share with you.
I just came across it, but it's a great reminder of how "We Are The Reason" Jesus came to earth, died, and rose again!
I FINALLY finished my Statistics course today! I've been aiming to have it finished awhile ago, but of course it had to take at least 5x longer than I anticipated! Now I just have to see what I got on my last two assignments...hopefully my lack of sleep and urge to get it over with didn't cause me to forget anything!
Today I've been working on one of my Health essays...it's almost finished. I hope to get the other one at least half finished tonight as well... Then all that's left is my 4 biology assignments that are all a third to half completed.
I am more than ready for everything to be finished!! Thankfully, the end of the week is going to be AMAZING! Hopefully I'll have all my assignments done by then so I can enjoy everything that's going to go on! I'm sure I wrote it in my last post, but I'm so excited about it all that I'll write it again!!
Once I am done with another full day of work (hopefully my last?!), and a full day of writing two midterms, I get to see my best friend on Thursday!! YA! I had no clue I'd see her so soon...but I'm so excited that I get to!! I figured since I didn't get to see her off at the airport, I'd try my very best to see meet her there when she came home!!! So, it turns out that as long as everything goes as planned, I'll get to see her at noon on Thursday!!! Then on Friday I get to babysit my three little cousins, see my aunt and uncle as well as my dad's parents. My mom's brother and daughter are also coming that night, so I'll see them too! Then on Sat I'll get to see my mom's parents and go to see the Passion Play my church is putting on! (I have more on that coming soon...hopefully on Thurs...) I'm also hoping to take my cousin, and maybe grandparents to see Soul Surfer!! Then Sunday is Easter and a time for celebrating! Once that's all over it's exam time, but let's not think about that yet...let's enjoy each day as it comes...well, once Thursday gets here!!
THREE MORE DAYS until the excitement begins!!! :) I can not wait!!
I can't believe how fast time is flying by! The middle of April is already here...with the end fast approaching! I don't know how I've been surviving the past couple weeks, but I have. I guess it must be because I keep praying for God to give me His peace and to take away all anxiety!
The next two weeks are going to be absolutely crazy for me! I have 2 math assignments, 4 biology assignments, and 2 health essays to write, as well as 5 exams! On top of all that I am apparently still going to be working. At the beginning of the month I let the lady I nanny for know I couldn't do it anymore...I've been feeling really overwhelmed with exams coming up, and I have been continuously feeling under the weather. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I am severely allergic to their cat...allergy medication doesn't even stop the allergic effects and so by the end of a 10 hour day I feel completely drained. But I am still working there as they haven't found a replacement yet! So, life is crazy for me right now!
The one thing getting me through the stress is knowing that it 2 weeks it will be almost finished! Well, that and knowing that next weekend I am going to be seeing A LOT of family! And my friend is coming back from NY next week, so I'll get to see her SOON!!! So, in the midst of the stress there is a joy that when all this is done I can celebrate! :)
I will not be blogging until I am finished school...at least I'll try not to! Sometimes when I'm stressed I need an outlet and writing has become that for me...even if it is rambling! If I do end up writing before the end of the month (other than Easter because I have something I do want to write then), feel free to leave a comment telling me to get back to school! Haha!
'"You know that verse in Joel about how God says he will restore to you the years that the locusts have eaten?"
Leah didn't know that verse. "Are you trying to say my parents were locusts, and they ate up my best years?"
"Not exactly," Jessica said gently. "I was wondering if in some way God was restoring to you the feelings and experiences you might have had over the last decade, but those years were taken up in your giving and caring for others. Maybe some of those feelings had to be placed on hold. You had to act older than you were. You can be younger now."'
~Taken from Robin Jones Gunn's Woodlands (page 80)
This quote has been rolling around my head since I first read it a couple weeks ago. I've actually been thinking along these lines for awhile now...even before I read this quote.
Throughout my life I have moved around a bit. Not as many times as many others have, but more than I would have liked. I don't do very well with change, or with meeting new people, so moving has always been tough on me.
Yesterday my mom and I went back to the city I was born in to watch an Easter musical my old church puts on called "Hosanna." I hadn't been back there in 12 years or so. It was neat to go back and see people I hadn't seen in over a decade. One of those people (who I had no clue I'd see!) was my best friend from when I was little! It was so neat to see her after all these years! We haven't really kept in touch very well, which is really unfortunate, but I was amazed at how although we were only 10 when we last saw each other it seemed like we had seen each other yesterday! We just picked up where we left off and continued on the journey of friendship!!
While I was there I asked myself "I wonder what my life would have been like if I lived here my entire life? What if we hadn't moved away?" But as I pondered this question I realized I wouldn't have changed anything because in all the places I have lived I have grown. I have been shaped and molded into the person I am. The challenges stretched me. And in the process I met so many people who have forever changed my life!
Yet although I wouldn't have changed anything, in a sense I feel like Leah in the quote above. Everything in my life was great...until I moved to BC in 2001. I loved living in BC, don't get me wrong. There was just something that kept coming against every friendship I ever tried to form. To this day I don't understand it, I just know getting to know people was tough. I hadn't experienced anything like it in my life. But there, I did. For nine years. I loved my city. I loved the mountains. I loved my house...especially my yard and OWN room! I loved the weather. But deep down inside I was always discontent. I tried to pretend I wasn't because feeling down wouldn't change reality, so I plugged along in life. There were pockets of time while I was there that were amazing! But overall it was tough. Yet, ever since coming here to SK, again I've realized that I wouldn't have changed anything because that season caused me to become who I am. It strengthened me. It caused me to rely on God. It changed my outlook on life.
But although that season of my life shaped who I am, I'm in a place right now where I feel like God is restoring the years the locusts have eaten. He is taking that place in my life that was barren for so long and is causing it to blossom. I see it everywhere I go. I have met amazing friends in my church. People who I feel as though I've known my entire life, but I've really only know them for a maximum of 6 months. I'm meeting up with old friends who I didn't think I'd ever see again. People who God had kept close to my heart and my prayers throughout all the years in BC are popping up everywhere. Old classmates (who I may or may not see...we'll see when that door opens!) live either here in the city or nearby. A friend from AB who I had lost close contact with while in my final years in BC is becoming a close friend again. And the weird thing is that I feel closer to a few BC friends than I did when I was there!
Life is looking up. God is restoring the years I had "lost" in BC. I learned a lot there, and I wouldn't change it for the world...but I am truly blessed to be in the place I am in now!
Hello everyone! I know I'm not really 'supposed' to be writing right now, but I figure I'd interrupt my blogging break for a moment.
School is coming along well! I'm completely finished my reading for Biology and Health, so I just have to finish my assignments for those two classes and do a little bit more Math and I will be finished!! I'm starting to see the end in sight!!
It looks like spring has finally arrived here on the prairies! I can finally see grass in my backyard, and I'm starting to visually plan out how we should landscape it this summer. Currently there are absolutely no flower beds, so I'm hoping to put some in as well as a garden! It's so nice to see the mountains of snow melting and hear the birds chirping in the morning!
What really prompted me to write today is a conversation I had with a lady yesterday. A lady came to the door where I was nannying and at first glance I thought she was trying to sell something. It turns out she wasn't trying to sell in the sense of sell that I was thinking of. She in fact was trying to 'sell' her beliefs to me. After talking to her briefly, and being interrupted by her everytime I tried to say anything important, she left and I walked away with an imprint that conversation left on my heart. Long story short, she was trying to invite me to a memorial service to celebrate Jesus' death or life, or however you want to look at it. A memorial service. Why hold a memorial service for the LIVING Jesus?! Unless of course you don't believe He truly is alive. I walked away from this conversation feeling an ache in my heart because I realized afresh how many people are not living with the hope that is found in Christ. The hope that He is alive.
At one point in the conversation she asked me if I had ever wondered why Jesus had to die. I said no I hadn't (and couldn't go on to say why because she interrupted me). And then right before she was leaving she said "So you don't have any questions?" And I said no I don't (because the answers are found in the Bible...but again I couldn't tell her this because she interrupted...). She proceeded to say "Well, good for you...because most people do." This is so true. So many people do have questions about life and about God. Unfortunately the people going around trying to answer the questions don't even have the answers themselves...they are forgetting about the most amazing Answer of all...Jesus in His life, death AND resurrection!
All of this reminded me of a song on one of the Passion CD's called "Like A Lion." The chorus of this song says "My God's not dead, He's surely alive. He's living on the inside, roaring like a lion." I'm going to post the song below so you can hear it and be reminded like I was about the hope found in Jesus and that He is alive, not dead. He is coming back again. And we need to let Him, who is living inside of everyone of His children (those who have asked Him to forgive them of their sins and live in them) roar like a lion through us so that those around us can also know the hope found in Him! Let's make this our mission over this coming up Easter season!
I just wanted to check in and let you know not to expect to hear from me very often in the next month. I only have one month left to complete my schooling...and I am extremely far behind schedule which means I will be working at it like crazy over the next few weeks! Thankfully I have so much to look forward to at the end of April...which is motivating me to get everything done before then! My cousin, uncle, and both sets of Grandparents will be coming here around Easter weekend, and sometime around then...maybe just a few days later my best friend is coming home from NY!! So...I'm trying to get all my school done BEFORE Easter!
Okay...enough rambling! Time to get back to school!!
